Matt Whistler the life and life, day to day

Latest TV Brighton Lights Episode 14: Food, Music, Fashion, Rain...

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Star Trek pilot LATEST TV

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TOTALLY ABSURD MAN Vs CAPTAIN COSMO

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Matt Whistler Handstand LATEST 7

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BRIGHTON LIGHTS LATEST TV

2010-08-29T06:29:00.000-07:00

http://friendfeed.com/mikeashworth?service=youtube

2009-04-30T16:25:00.000-07:00

http://friendfeed.com/mikeashworth?service=youtube

Hi thanks for dropping by

2008-11-13T09:32:00.000-08:00

The following is a genuine letter from a genuine con man on Gumtree with a Matt Whistler response.

"Finding flats in a MonsterMarketplace is a real challenge, I empathise for those who get sucked into this trap"
Matt Whistler 2008

You may also be wondering why I have put Monstermarketplace in the previous sentence well it's
just that a friend pointed out that if you type Matt Whistler into google then MonsterMarketplace and porn link sites come up, so I figured if my name is going to be exploited which, to be honest, I don't really care about, however, I may as well start a word war and write MonsterMarketPlace in this paragraph as much as the human eye can take reading MonsterMarketPlace,before getting tired and bored of seeing the words MosterMarketPlace . The thing is if I write MonsterMarketPlace several times then this blog page will come up in Google as opposed to a second rate , two bit , low down , good for nothing cheap , marketing ploy. The MonsterMarketPlace website has less chance of increased revenue due to poor desperate promotional tactics. It is a MonsterMarketPlace and their are Monsters within the MonsterMarketPlace and I don't mind airing my dirty laundry as it kind of fits into the whole Matt Whistler blog vibe. So there we have it, hopefully I have succeeded in re-directing some traffic, but as I said before I don't care really Ive probably just got far too much time on my mittens.

Anyway back to the conman on Gumtree
I am not trying to take on the injustices of the world it's just been an odd day in cyber world.

I doooont believe it Sir Mike Talon is now at it. By the looks of things an American comedian who is using my youtube film descriptions to put beneath his stand up acts. I really don't care, I just find it interesting how individuals and companies steal blurb to re-direct traffic. I think Sir Mike Talon must be clutching at straws with his Sir Mike Talon ness. Well let me tell you something Mr Sir Mike Talon, I like the name but you are now going to have to work harder to get your Sir Mike Talon internet presence known. May the farce be with you Sir Mike Talon.

charlesmellow26@gmail.com
Hello offer

I am giving this flat away just because no one is making use of the
house at the moment. and i hate to see it dirty every time. Its better
for me to let it out to someone who will make it clean and tidy. I
hope you understand this. Well, Viewing the house is not a problem.
But i will like you to do a thing. I guess you will understand this.
It's in the policy my Lawyer has told me and i wish to abide by it. I
won't get any money from you now. So you will do a thing to make me
believe you really need the Apartment.I have been fooled several times
and I had to travel a long journey with my Lawyer to meet people who
wants to view my property and at the end of the day they tell me they
want to stay in the apartment for a month before they would pay me. I
don't want this to happen to me again so My Lawyer has advised me that
I have to be sure that who so ever is renting my property should be
capable of paying the cost of the rent.
You will go to the nearest WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER around
you,Send to your Friend send the sum 1100pounds in WESTERN UNION. The
money is still within you. I am not ready to get money from you as i
have said. All I need to see is the WESTERN UNION copy of receipt
giving to you. Scan the WESTERN UNION receipt and send it as an
attachment to my email just for me to view it and be sure you are
ready to get the Flat. after viewing the FLAT, and you really like it,
You can go together to the WESTERN UNION location agent or bank around
here to get the 1100 pounds back and we can reach an agreement on how
you will move into the Flat. I will pay back to you the charges you
will be using in sending the money in WESTERN UNION. If you don't
understand, Here is an examples of how to do it....

SENDERS NAME....................YOUR NAME

RECEIVER' NAME...................YOUR FRIEND NAME.

AMOUNT SENT.....................1100POUNDS.

and scan the copy of receipt to me in an email just for me to view it.
and then i can pick you up and show you the Flat.

Best Regards.
Charles

Hi Charles

I am really grateful for your email. This sounds like an amazing offer and I really appreciate your kindness. Money is not a problem. I do have money but don't trust the Western Union. I would much rather give you the money in person. Please understand the money is not counterfeit I have a lovely wife who cooks hot meals and does the knitting. My job is a high security job so I am afraid I cannot reveal my career.

I can give you the money tomorrow. Meet me outside the mad hatter at 1pm I will be driving past in a Tuc Tuc and will shout yaber daber doo to let you know its definitely me. I will quickly stop and give you the envelope. Its nice doing business with you. I am looking forward to seeing you and getting the keys to the property.

Is it possible that I can have the doorway to the flat enlarged in width and height to allow my uncle clench to visit from time to time.

The pleasure is all mine

Best regards

Matt

2008-10-10T08:17:00.000-07:00

The winner was OOOps and he was given a plastic fish. In hindsight the winner should have been .......
"Bob went totally off the rails after being crushed by a giant white smartie"

Radio West Pier

2008-10-07T09:54:00.000-07:00

INTRODUCING RWP !

The worlds first on-line interactive comedy
show incorporating local artistic talent. Welcome to
the imminent arrival of Radio West Pier, a comedy
show presented by Jah Scooterman and

Rico Mortis, and is run on a bit of a shoestring
budget. Our studio is a converted underwater shack
that used to be part of the West Pier until it fell
off during a severe storm, at which time we squatted
it. After selling bits of West Pier driftwood on e-bay
we had the money to run a power cable from the
candyfloss shop on the seafront. Thanks to the
cleaner pulling the plug out of the wall socket in
the Candy Floss shop,our power source went to
cock, so our attention is now on green energy and
generators operated with excercise bikes. We're in,
were on, were rockin and set up to broadcast a zany,
upbeat, visually impacting comedy show with more
quirky edges than a hedgehog in a bag of pick n mix.
Jah Scooterman and Rico Mortis are Matt Whistler
from Burnley and Eric Mahoganeigh from
Clapham respectively. We first met while collaborating
on pirate hospital radio and did quite
well in doubloons and the wooden limb health plan,
but we know we've done the right thing setting up
our own venture with a radio shack that can ocean
hop courtesy of bits of engine run on bottled flatulence.
Our guests either arrive in our rented Swimousine or
jump off the West Pier.
THE FOLLOWING IS TRUE (Not that the above is
any less of a reality) Matt Whistler holds two world
records on self-propelled push scooters, has acted
bit parts in countless TV Dramas and films and
once turned a multi-talented eccentric
bi-lingual technophobic parrot into a
national celebrity overnight. He also conceived
and organised the world's first naked
speed dating event. Eric Mahoganeigh
writes for the Chap magazine andthe
Treason show. Eric has also performed
on stage at the Big Green gathering.

Copyright All rights reserved RadioWest Pier 2006

Speakers corner The Argus

2008-10-07T09:47:00.000-07:00

Crowd tunes in to Whistler

Passers-by were urged to pour their hearts
out at the inaugural session of a new speaker's
corner. Public speeches will take place at The Level,
Brighton, on the last Saturday of every month.
The meetings were launched at the weekend by
Radio West Pier, an internet comedy show that
claims to be recorded under Brighton's West Pier.
Standing on a metal box, he said he found in a squat
on the seafront, radio presenter Matt Whistler declared
a "People's Independent Comedy Republic" in which
there were no taxes on humour. The
34-year-old of Goldstone Road in Hove
said he had ordered 1,000 flippers so
members of the public could swim to visit
the radio shack.

Dressed in a brown velvet hat and Seventies
embroidered jacket, he encouraged others
to get up and shout through the megaphone
woman complained about the police presence
at the event, which was being monitored by
several officers at the other side of The Level.
Another advertised breast-feeding awareness.
Mr Whistler said: "We did it for an hour.
In that time, we had about ten people.
I was very pleased."
The next is on Saturday, February 24
from 1pm. Radio West Pier is presented
by Mr Whistler and Rico Mortis. Hear it at www.myspace.com/radiowestpier.

Is this pier lunacy?
Comdedians are to declare independence
for Brighton's West Pier.Matt Whistler, who
earlier this year announced his intention to
smash all Evel Knievel's world records,
wants the pier made its own state.Mr Whistler
and his sidekick Eric Mahoganeigh, who
run comedy show Radio West Pier on the
MySpace website, are planning the stunt
to launch the Brighton Whinge Festival -
a version of London's Speakers' Corner.
The duo will set up a platform at The Level
in Brighton at 1pm on Saturday and invite
people to stand on it and whinge about
anything they want. The best whinge will
be filmed and posted on their MySpace site.
Tune in to Radio West Pier at myspace.com/radiowestpier.

Lancashire Evening Telegraph

2008-10-07T09:43:00.000-07:00

CAROLINE DUTTON spoke to Burnley-born
comedian, actor and performer Matt Whistler.

YESTERDAY daredevil comedian Matt Whistler
smashed motorcyclist Evel Knievel's world record
for jumping over 13 parked trucks. But trickster
Matt gave the challenge a cheeky twist.
He leapt on a push-powered scooter and
the 14 lorries he used for his attempt were
Matchbox toys. "I was very nervous about the
challenge. I had to constantly wipe the sweat from
my brow. It was quite a feat,"
said Brierfield-born Matt, 34, who is one half of
internet comedy show duo Radio West Pier.
"i got the timing just right if id have tried to do
it earlier in the week think id have been blown
to France - I could've brought some duty free
back!" The stunt was the latest in a long line
of zany antics that Matt and partner
Eric Mahoganeigh (and their alter-egos
Jah Scooterman and Rico Mortis) have pulled
off in the name of comedy. The pair, who
are both based in Brighton, launched
internet comedy show Radio West Pier in
September. The shows, based on the
fictional lives of two men living in the
wreckage underneath the seaside town's
famous landmark, West Pier.Matt and
Eric made a pilot episode of the show
for a new sitcom on a budget of £20,
and are hoping it will be picked up by
a television company. At present they
broadcast monthly audio versions of the show
on their website. "It's a zany, upbeat comedy
which has been likened toThe Mighty Boosh,
" said Matt. "We ..filmed the pilot through
TV Brighton, the city's community television
channel. It is part animation and part live action.
We begged, borrowed and stole equipment
and a number of very talented local people
donated their skills and expertise for free.
"Our ultimate ambition is for it to run as a
sitcom, but we're also looking at taking a
show to all the comedy festivals next year." Matt already holds two scooter world
records. The first for scooting from Lands
End to John O'Groats and the second for
the most miles travelled on a scooter in
24 hours - 161. "At the time of the first world
record my mum owned a fairly well-known
cake shop called Sophisticakes in Brierfield
so I stopped off for a cup of tea and a slice
of cake on my way down from John O'Groats."
And some of Matt's crazy stunts have given
him national publicity, including when in 2004
he organised the world's first naked speed
dating event in Brighton.
"A lot of people turned up wearing fig leaves
and because the theme was the Garden of
Eden," said Matt. "Although in the end it
turned out to be a load of hippies dancing
around in the knacker to be honest. But
some people met new friends and one
person resolved a homeless problem
so some good did come of it." So how
did a born-and-bred Brierfield lad end
up creating a spoof radio show in Brighton -
the UK's capital of cool? "I was born and
bred in Brierfield, although I tell people
down here it's Burnley because that's
the place they recognise," said Matt.
"I left home to do a radio course at
Liverpool University and when I graduated
I moved to London. After that I gravitated
towards Brighton." He met comedy partner
Eric during a chance meeting on Brighton
seafront. "He stopped me in my tracks and
asked if he could have a go of my self-propelled
scooter. He said he'd never seen anything
like it before," explained Matt.""I let him have
a go on it and he immediately fell off. At that
point I decided our destiny was in the making.
" But despite stardom beckoning Matt still
finds time to visit his home town often."I spend
quite a lot of time in Brierfield visiting family,
" said Matt, "although I don't know whether
I'll ever move back into the area. "I still miss
the Lancashire people, they're definitely
friendlier, which I notice when I come home.
And I miss the rolling hills of Pendle."

Visit Matt and Eric's website www.myspace.com/ radiowestpier

The Argus

2008-10-07T09:39:00.000-07:00

The Argus

Monday 22nd Jan 07

Record breaker

A daredevil comedian has completed
his latest attempt at smashing all of
Evel Knievel's world records.

Matt Whistler, of Goldstone Road,
Hove, beat one of Evel's records on
Friday - but on a miniature scale - when
he jumped over 14 toy lorries on a scooter

Thursday 14th Jan 07

Scooter hero savours world record challenge..

A daredevil comedian has set out his
plan to break motorcyclist Evel Knievel's
world record for jumping over 13 parked
trucks. But trickster Matt Whistler has
given the challenge a cheeky twist.
He'll be leaping on a push-powered
scooter and the 14 lorries he needs
for his attempt will be Matchbox toys.

Mr Whistler, one half of internet comedy
show duo Radio West Pier, said:
"I'm very nervous about the challenge.
I'm having to constantly wipe the sweat
from my brow. It's going to be quite a feat."

Mr Whistler, 34, of Goldstone Road, Hove,
already holds two scooter world records.
The first for scooting from Lands End to
John O'Groats and the second for the
most miles travelled in 24 hours - 161.

He will make his new record attempt by
the West Pier on Brighton seafront next
week with live commentary provided by
his sidekick Eric Mahoganeigh, who
plays Rico Mortis on the internet show.

The pair launched Radio West Pier in
September. The shows, based on the
fictional lives of two men living in the
wreckage underneath the famous
landmark, can be seen at
www.myspace.com/ radiowestpier
Mr Whistler has already
contacted Guinness World Records to
see if they will verify his achievement.
Legendary daredevil Evel Knievel set
his world record for jumping full-sized
trucks in 1972

Radio West Pier The Argus

2008-10-07T09:37:00.000-07:00

Argus

Wed 13th Sep 2006
Seabed sitcom surfs the waves
By Rob Hustwayte

Matt Whistler and Eric Mahonaneigh
emerge from a shift in their radio shack.
A pilot episode for a new sitcom, set in
an underwater shack beneath Brighton's
West Pier, was put together on a budget
of £20.Matt Whistler and Eric Mahonaneigh
wrote, produced, directed and starred in
the first episode of Radio West Pier and
are hoping it will be picked up by a television
company.The show, based on a fictional
radio station transmitting from a domed
building which fell from the West Pier,
is being broadcast on the internet.Mr Whistler,
34, an actor and radio presenter, of
Goldstone Road, Hove, said: "It's a zany,
upbeat comedy which has been likened
to The Mighty Boosh."We filmed the pilot
through TV Brighton, the city's community
television channel. It is part animation and
part live action."We begged, borrowed and
stole equipment and a number of very
talented local people donated their skills
and expertise for free."It just shows how
in the digital age two people can film a
sitcom and broadcast it on the back of
a £20 note. "We're hoping to get it noticed
and will also be broadcasting monthly audio
versions of the show on our website."In the
show, Mr Whistler and Mr Mahonaneigh
play radio presenters Jah Scooterman
and Rico Mortis, who are squatting in the
shack under the pier.They raised the money
to launch their radio station from selling pieces
of driftwood on eBay.Mr Whistler said:
"It's got real potential and it is brilliant
that we can get it seen and broadcast
for virtually nothing."
Mr Whistler gained national publicity
two years ago when he held Britain's first
naked speed dating event at the Chez Nou
pub in Arundel Road, Kemp Town, Brighton.
He also holds two world records, for being
the only person to travel from Lands End to
John O'Groats on a footpropelled scooter
and for traveling 161 miles in 24 hours on
the same vehicle. 2006

Publicity stunt Matt Whistler

2008-10-07T09:35:00.000-07:00

THE GUARDIAN

THE prospect of queuing hours for petrol proved the last straw for Matt Whistler as he contemplated his journey home from holiday. But his solution was radical, to say the least.

Instead of joining the jams, the comedian of Radio West Pier traded in his Ford Fiesta for a push bike and pedalled the 284.6 miles from Brighton to Liverpool.

The journey that would normally have taken him less than eight hours at the wheel lasted five long days, involved seven punctures and two near-misses - and a pair of very tired legs. And it changed his life.

Yesterday, Mr Whistler, 33, originally from Waverley Road, Aigburth, vowed he will never drive again because he's fallen for pedal power.

Publicity stunt Matt Whistler

2008-10-07T09:32:00.000-07:00

Guardian, Saturday September 17 2005

Helen Carter
NAKED SPEED DATING
Fearless punters snap up dates to disrobe

Tuesday 13th Jul 2004

A naked speed-dating event has sold
out in a matter of weeks. Up to 120
singles have forked out £50 each for
the privilege of baring all before getting
three minutes to chat up a member of the
opposite sex. The Brighton event, believe
to be the first of its kind in the UK, will have
a Garden Of Eden theme.Despite the
popularity of the evening, organisers have
been forced to compromise their original
plans because of public concerns over
possible indecency.

Instead of an entire evening of nudity,
there will be a "naturists hour" when
people can strip off and take part in the
speed dating. The women will sit in one
place while the men move from table to
table, spending three minutes chatting to
each female. Once the hour is over, the l
ustful Adam and Eves will have to cover
up again. Those reluctant to put their clothes
back on can opt to hide their modesty with a
strategically placed fig leaf.

Activities will kick off in the early evening of
July 24 at the Chez Nous pub in Arundel Road,
Kemp Town, with champagne cocktails and a
barbecue in the garden, which will be decked
with fairy lights. Guests will dine on barbecued
vegetables cut into heart shapes while being
entertained with live music.

There will also be an alternative health
element to the evening. Those who
don't meet Mr or Miss Right can spend
time with one of the therapists and indulge
in some reflexology, reiki or have an Indian
head massage.

Organiser Matt Whistler, who plans
to go naked at the event, said:
"This night is meant to signify the rebirth
of romance, all tied in with the Garden
of Eden theme."Bar owner Dominique Burford
will transform Chez Nous to ensure daters
keep their privacy and shed their inhibitions.

The back garden is secluded
while the pub windows will be
blacked out to deter peeping toms.
Ms Burford also plans to ban
cameras and ask people to
switch off their mobiles.She said:
"We hope people will meet the love
of their life there or at least leave having
made one or two new friends."

Media critic

2008-10-07T09:31:00.000-07:00

Press more press. Radio West Piers first media critic.

Review of Radio West Pier Episode 3 by me Joolie Lurchdill in the Sunday Thames 1/10/07

God knows I've laughed, I've cried, I've screamed and I've ground my teeth but I don't think I've ever shat out an emotion until now-after watching Radio West Pier Episode 3. I sat down to watch this stuff with a bacon falafel ( like my good honest communist dad used to make) and a glass of Chateau Tres Moi, with an open mind. But really, what a waste of my time, when I could have been sharing the milk of my genuine proletarian kindness through a News International publication that doesn't have to pander to Muslim sensibilities or to Trotskyists who see the world through the bottom of their comfy beer glass. Anyway, back to the subject.

The opening scene almost says it all, with a sad Northener taking any opportunity to show his (thankfully pixellated) knob off at the first opportunity. And him doing that Evel Knevel stunt; the toy trucks he jumped over just screamed out his juvenility. And that bulge in his crotch? Socks. From Primark no doubt. And his sidekick Rico Mortis-what an old hippy he looks like. Haven't we had enough of teachers like that filling a new generation of brats with woolly liberalism that will come back to stab him? And I tell you I've actually met Mr Moronic Mortis, otherwise known as Eric Mahoganeigh. He was sitting at the same table as me in a pub, the Lion and Lobster in Brighton, and with an instinct honed by countless column inches I sussed him out as someone not worth knowing, and with honest journalistic integrity told the rest of the table so. But does he, this ageing hippy, act at all maturely? No, he repeats what I said, when all I want is for it to be overlooked. I mean, why didn't he make a comment about my vaginal hygiene while he was at it? I'm sorry, but I've lived in Brighton for a long time and with my social networking I would know if there was an underwater radio station under the West Pier. These are middle class bohemians (don't the oilskins say it all?) just playing around with a camera. They're not genuinely deserving working class like someone who writes for the Sunday Times. My fountain spurts truth. Trust me.

Review Radio West Pier

2008-10-07T09:28:00.000-07:00

THE BRITISH JOURNAL OF PSYCHIATRY FEBUARY 2008

Dr Simon Pulverness, former collaborator of Professor Oliver Sachs, the author of The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat, begins a new series, Psychiatry on the Net, with the article, Radio West Pier: A Projection Explained?

If one were to take the pulse of Western culture's mental state, one could do no worse than to randomly select projections on the Internet. I use the term "projection" in both its metaphorical and literal sense. The reason that I have singled out Radio West Pier, an online comedy show that includes music and visual theatrics, is that virtually all manner of psychological phenomena are filtered through to cyberspace. Furthermore, there are insights to be gleaned from the viewpoint of all schools of psychiatry, from gestalt to object relations theory.

Let us start with the two frontmen, Jah Scooterman and Rico Mortis, whose relationship is constantly underlined by dominance and manipulation. Scooterman's inferiority complex manifests itself in the mundane, when Mortis is constantly sent on errands, to the more disturbing. An example of the latter occurs in Episode One when he insists on pulling out Mortis's nostril hair and twanging it for his own amusement. This Freudian violation of Mortis's orifice integrity, coupled with giving him literal marching orders, highlight his own underlying insecurity. Externalisation of this insecurity shows itself at the beginning of Episode Three, in Scooterman's naked handstand; exhibitionism intended to exceed the limits of his own ego boundaries. Again, hidden inadequacy is subconsciously projected at the end of the same episode by his artificially enlarged genitalia.

This leads to fantasized wish fulfilment, the most obvious example being the Evel Knievel "stunt", when Scooterman jumps over a line of toy trucks. Unsurprisingly, Mortis expresses his own desire for wish fulfilment in the dream sequence of the first episode, where the roles are reversed. Scooterman's ascent in the "swimousine" from the underwater radio shack to the surface suggests an emergence from id to super-ego. It is significant to note that above the surface he tries to control a newly uninhibited Mortis through radio; the violence of the West Pier's explosion is a consequence of actions that Scooterman cannot consciously acknowledge, and is in fact a projection of his own hostility.

Beside the master-slave dynamic there are a variety of cognitive conundrums. In the audio "Ghost" sketch, where only Scooterman is aware of the presence of the "guests", schizophrenic symptoms, i.e. hearing voices, are evident. In "Humour In The Natural World", where a guest speaker expounds on faculties of wit and humour in animal species, anthropomorphism is taken to delusional levels. However, in "The Bust" sketch, when a drug-induced metaphysical argument between the two revolves around the colour of a table, those of the 'existential' school of R.D.Laing could argue that both possess a hermeneutically valid internalisation of external reality. In conclusion, one can only concur that whatever psychiatric subjects are raised, Radio West Pier remains an enjoyable prism through which one can observe the whole cognitive spectrum of contemporary society.

Radio West Pier

2008-10-07T09:26:00.000-07:00

ATTENTION ATTENTION ALL RADIO WEST PIER FANS !!

A note from Matt Whistler A.K.A Jah Scooterman

109 FM No longer face's closure, the nails are still holding the planks together. The fish are still circulating around the shack. The mackeral is still putting cockles in our muscles.

The show must go on and Eric Mahogeniegh A.K.A Rico Mortis is moving back to Brighton. Episode four has been scripted and filming is on a green light. Thank you for all your letters of support. As you can see their are more press reviews comming in. The radio shack is having a face lift. New characters, fresh blogs, t-shirts and plastic mackeral.

Keep your positivity comming in. Radio West Pier is now accepting funny video posts with an underwater theme, the winner will be written into the script in episode 4. To send clips post onto youtube or myspace and get in touch. Full bio fuel ahead !!

Edinburgh Fringe Reviews

2008-10-07T09:25:00.000-07:00

Radio West Pier reviewed by - "The Scotsman" in The Quantum Physics Quarterly.

As Albert Einstein might have said, God doesn't play dice but if he played crap he would have ended up with Radio West Pier. A comedy radio show that purportedly broadcasts from an underwater shack underneath Brighton's West Pier, and its currently broadcasting live, (after a long treacherous and arguably controversial expedition to its current final destination somewhere beneath the Port of Leith by the show's sidekick, Rico Mortis). It's unfortunate that his ciggie break in Weston Super Mare ended rather abruptly on the morning of 28th of July. The Times would later report of its Grand Pier, the town's main attraction, as a mangled mass of charred steel. One might recall to mind, similar incidents happening to Southend Pier in 1959, 1976 and in 1995, it doesn't take a genius to work out the formula. But one might ask whether he was the skipper of the MV Kingsway in 1986? I'll say no more and leave it at that. The show itself has its quirks which are indeed up and down, top and bottom exuberating both strangeness and charm. Improbability is no obstacle to Jah Scooterman and 'Flaming'Rico Mortis when they transmit the impossible i.e the fact that the latter singlehandedly burnt down the West Pier et. al, (whilst cooking mackerel under water). I'm no Miss Marples but this does appear to be rather accidentally coincidental). This is where these two are quite literally not aware of the gravity of the situation. "If time flies like an arrow then fruit flies like a banana"- that would seem to be the editorial of the journal of their own reality. When it comes to time itself their roving reporter the Right Reverend Tristram Shandy-Drinker appears after 250 years' retirement to chronicle the destruction of the West Pier. Nevertheless the show asks challenging questions such as, if parallel lines could meet, what would they sat to each other? This undoubtedly is the free fringe at end of a badly cut universe. If you don't believe me get your energy force behind the performance in Edinburgh, it isn't an equation I can get my brains around!

Edinburgh Fringe Reviews

2008-10-07T09:24:00.002-07:00

EDINBURGH FRINGE REVIEWS

The Cod Delusion? - A review of Radio West Pier by Dickie Dawkins in The Rational Reasoner

I have, as my readers will know, tirelessly campaigned on behalf of scientific rationalism against religion, and empirical material knowledge against blind faith. However, I find myself having to do the same but with a secular unreality in the form of Radio West Pier.

It appears at the Edinburgh Fringe, as a five star rated radio station that had previously broadcast from under the water at Brighton's wreck of a West Pier, but which is now lurking, rather suspiciously, near the Portside at Leith in Scotland. All I can do here is provide snippets of the preposterous, rather than a daily record of an ongoing aquatic delusion. Take their audio broadcast, Humour in the Natural World.

Supposedly the sun sends out comic rays which turn parts of the oceans into the Jokestream, thus giving rise to species such as chucklefish, gigglebacks, spiny chortlers and mirthworms. This is pure anthropomorphism, as when a pig was tried for witchcraft in medieval France. Taking it to an evolutionary level, their claim that mackerel eating hallucinatory fungi under the West Pier gives fish eaters a high in night clubs and sandwich bars-this is a drug known as "whackmack"-is risible. It is well known that salt water fish have never evolved to eat fungi. Outright mysticism comes in the form of Mystic Reg, the DIY astrologer who predicts one's future on how we put up shelves or grout tiles.

This is a new form of mechanistic determinism every bit as silly as astrology itself. As for the Reverend Tristram Shandy-Drinker, who has been retired for 250 years, how are we to believe that he is their roving reporter? Nevertheless, they redeem themselves slightly in asking intriguing questions such as: if parallel lines could meet, what would they say to each other? Perhaps this five star show is worth a look in…by only asking questions that many of us thought best to leave well alone…………….

Edinburgh Fringe Reviews

2008-10-07T09:24:00.001-07:00

EDINBURGH FRINGE REVIEWS

Big Women Gone Bad – 1st Edition Mackerel boys review

I've unfortunately seen RWP during the processes of total internet boredom. At times, it appears to have been organised by a sectarian hippy band of chimpanzee's, which has managed to infiltrate some weird scientific experiment, which has clearly gone horribly wrong. Mr. Scooterman comes across as a totally egocentric despot whose main agenda appears to be intimidating and totally destroying those around in with any creative flair, i.e., Mr. Mortis. Why, (Mr. Mortis), puts up with the daily abuse appears to have more in common with 'Battered wife Syndrome', rather than applying some pittance of an excuse for a homo sapiens…..I think, like many before me that Mr. Mortis needs to find his own way in society and secure himself some honest and stable employment and stop relying on others who clearly cannot and will not make his own hot beverage first thing in the morning….although it must be nice being required or should one say a necessity to this ramshackle of an aquatic radio show in the name of entertainment……..Anyone with any ideas as to what type of employment Mr. Mortis should secure is beyond me…however any suggestions, in fact all suggestions should be posted onto the relevant website and I will personally ensure that he receives all ideas and suggestions….and could someone be brave enough to explain to him that the smell of mackerel isn't considered to be favourable should he be lucky enough to called for an interview…..To see the show in its rawest form do not miss the performance at the Edinburgh Arts Fest……like they say in shoal business, if it isn't fishy it isn't worth the catch!....

Posted by Busty St. Clare (arts editor)

Edinburgh Fringe Reviews

2008-10-07T09:23:00.000-07:00

EDINBURGH FRINGE REVIEWS

Edinburgh Fringe reviewsMenopausal Monthly

- a conservative viewpoint of the arts of the underworld Following a volume of bad press and incoherent ramblings from the lower classes, I Virginia, during my normal monthly periodical have decided to review the show (Radiowestpier) and was horrified and indeed very surprised by the lack of empathy that individuals have surmised about it's participants, (I feel no need to mention the trash weekly concerned at this juncture).

Firstly, the genius that is, Jah Scooterman. What an entrepreneur, philanthropist and an all round good egg he is; taking pity upon a fellow human in the form of drop out tramp and no doubt beatnik and hippy that is known as Rico Mortis. Consider this, who in their sound mind would employ such a mess of a man. Mr. Mortis would just drain the welfare resources and would have been cast onto the slag heap, that others, such as Mr. Scooterman and myself also that have tirelessly paid into to enable the financial assistance to help less unfortunates. Jah, if I am allowed to address him informally and informally dressed he was on a number of occasions, (I've had to enlighten the ladies who do lunch and the WI as to his generous particulars); Without Jah, the show would be a complete disorganised dishevel of a watery hole.

Jah's tenacity puts into mind of an ex I was once privy of being courted by (before the unfortunate accident with the noose and the high heels he so liked wearing). If ever, Mr. Scooterman wished to stand for Parliament, whether it was on his hands or his feet, I would gladly nominate him, and if he so wished act as his personal assistant (for a nominal fee of 10%). I'd like to point out that in order to understand and enlighten you to the next coming of the Messiah, one must attend a small venue in the Scottish City known locally there as Edinburgh….he is in attendance to a festival of comical delights and I'm sure the ladies in the front row will be swooning….if not, then rather coarsely throwing a pair of under garments onto the platform for him to mop his heavily laden brow…..NOW WHO WOULD WANT TO MISS A MAN LIKE THAT!!!!!!

Written by Lady Virginia Whiff- TuftOr 'Vi' to her closet friends

Radio West Pier

2008-10-07T09:20:00.000-07:00

Edinburgh Comedy Fringe Review
The Standing Order – The 'Radio West Pier' Show
14th August 2008
By Kerry Pike (student)

If you can only afford to get to one show make sure it's this one. I had no idea what I was letting myself in for when my friends(Caz, Marie, Ellie) suggested I go to this comedy gig, despite being quite packed we squeezed in at the back and sat on the bar. Chuffed to hell it's a free gig and well worth the overdraft money. Despite the intensity and at the same time naivety of the jocular jester known as Jah Scooterman, (as if his stage presence and his ability to carry off and don such an eclectic mix of materials wasn't enough!!!- but I know what direction my portfolio is headed for next
term), the show began with reference to his former rather unsuccessful attempts of trying to get noticed by denying that any of it happened. It literally threw up more questions than answers and made you want to know more about this 'in your face' character. The show continues with his current daily processes and routines of living in a underground shack (known as Radio West Pier as it is situated underneath it off the coastline in Brighton, Sussex) and although his sidekick is only heard via intercom/telephone line you get the sense of what these two madcap presenters get up to, especially when mentioning the 'Commandments'. The audience was invited and sometimes not, to ask questions, for example: 'Do you pay Council Tax'? The innovative if not office applicable flip chart and his constant references to anal noises makes this a students dream……..I found it funny and so did everyone around me
(which was a mix of all shapes and sizes and ages to boot). You'd be very lucky to get a ticket for tomorrow show but I'd try anyway because it was worth every penny and you never know you might spot Dustin Hoffman in the audience again!!

Radio West Pier review Mikey and the boy's

2008-10-07T09:16:00.001-07:00

EDINBURGH FRINGE REVIEW

Edinburgh Comedy Fringe Review
The Standing Order Public House of Disrepute (apparently)
Radio West Pier feat: Jah Scooterman
13th August 2008

By Mikey and the boys from Blackpool on an extended stag do!

We fell into the pub more by accident than chance, Stewie, the one we daren't to mention (he's from Yorkshire), convinced us all we needed the 'hair of the dog', but by the time we had ordered a few beers and the act began we got more of the 'hairy old dog'! We thought we do what all Edinburgh folk do this time of year, little did I realise that they all fuck off and rent out their gaffs for a premium….anyway we thought
we would frequent the ale houses in Edinburgh during the festie so we could get a bit piddly and have a good laff. I don't normally drink at lunch times, Pinocchio eat your wooden heart out me old chap…….I'll go back to review now………………….What a bloke! He's from our neck of the woods so we sort of knew where he were coming from……he's sort of mixed up 70's Wheel tappers and
Shunters comedy act with a bit of Eric Morecombe and a bit off the wall, Kenny Everett v the Monty Python crew……..Still don't think he should walk around late at night like that on any other occasion!!!! And he'll know what I'm talking about!.....Would like to get to know the RWP team a bit more, even though it appears to involve a few Southerners….The hour long act considered of fart renditions and his
past alternative life times (suspect it to be true rather than not)….. he got funnier as he went along because you never knew what was coming next…..it was sort of thrown up in the air disorganisation but it works…so he is either a comic genius or bloody lucky he didn't get his head kicked in….Well worth it…..it has keep us in gags for a few weeks (gonna need them soon due to get wed in 2 weeks)!!!!....I think he's original and well worth a look in if you are up for a bit of a laugh with your mates….he's on again tomorrow at same time, 12ish and again on Saturday…….His face looks familiar like he's already been on TV, see if you can work it out………….by for now…the Blackpool Posse at your service, especially if you were that barmaid with the big ****…..!

Jah Scooterman

2008-10-07T07:38:00.000-07:00

Jah Scooterman flying his swimousine

Matt Whistler showreel

2008-10-07T07:37:00.001-07:00

Matt Whistler showreel

Tristram Shandy Drinker

2008-10-07T07:35:00.000-07:00

Tristram Shandy Drinker

Jah Scooterman bollock naked

2008-10-07T07:34:00.000-07:00

Jah Scooterman morning workout

Adam Buxton Radio West Pier

2008-10-07T07:33:00.000-07:00

Adam Buxton loves Radio West Pier

Evel Knieval new world record on push scooter

2008-10-07T07:31:00.000-07:00

Matt Whistler as Jah Scooterman Evel Knieval record

Iain Banks Radio West Pier

2008-10-07T07:29:00.000-07:00

Iain Banks Endorsing Radio West Pier

Bill Bailey Radio West Pier

2008-10-07T07:28:00.000-07:00

Icon Bill Bailey

Radio West Pier Matt Whistler

2008-10-07T07:26:00.000-07:00

Wearing a disguise to not be recognized

Matt Whistler and Radio West Pier

2008-10-07T07:16:00.001-07:00

Matt Whistler seafront stunt

2008-10-07T07:08:00.000-07:00

Radio West Pier old trailer

2008-10-07T06:32:00.000-07:00

Matt Whistler Brighton Palace Pier radio

Matt Whistler promoting Phil Kay night

Matt Whistler on his self propelled push scooter Edniburgh 2008

Phil Kay headliner Radio West Pier comedy night

Godfrey Cuntington a comedic midget Radio West Pier night

West Pier above and Radio West Pier below

2008-10-07T06:24:00.000-07:00

Matt Whistler and Radio West Pier

2008-10-07T06:18:00.000-07:00

Matt Whistler photo shoot 2008

Life under the West Pier with the fortune teller

Matt Whistler on his world record attempt from John O Groats to Land's End

Radio West Pier under the sea under the Pier

Radio West Pier Matt Whistler publicity stunts

2008-10-07T06:04:00.000-07:00

Radio West Pier HQ under the sea

Jah Scooterman as Evel Knieval

Matt Whistler Edinburgh fringe reviews

2008-10-07T05:57:00.003-07:00

A BRIGHTON VISITOR

By A Clark - A Brighton visitor

Following on from a review in The Guardian with regards to the Brighton's fringe scene (an article by Maxie Szalwinska) and subsequent blogs on May 6^th 2008 entitled 'I'm dipping my toe into Brighton festival's waters'; http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/theatre/2008/05/im_dipping_my_toe_into_brighto.html

I came across this article too late to be able to add my penny worth in on the discussion but feel passionately enough to still comment about it. Szalwinskas hunt in Brighton at the time of the festival was a relevant one but feel it is necessary to introduce a few more apt background notes to those that have never been to the Sussex coastal city of Brighton. Brighton is a young (not necessarily by age), lively and exuberant city it thrives on individualism by embracing diversity and holding it very gently in the palm of its hands. Brighton's festivals try to encompass all that is Brighton by condensing it all down for a few weeks at Festival time. However the flavour and essence of cultural Brighton remains before and long after the Festival finishes and fails to be artistically void the rest of the year. You could walk along Western Road, on a particularly grey miserable day (which I did, during a visit during the children's Easter break) and next thing I saw was a few musicians had got together playing music whilst walking towards the town, within a matter of minutes it formed one big procession of randomly mixed people of all ages, some banging drums, some singing whilst others blew into whistles, all rhythmically clapping hands, it brought laughter and sunshine and all the colours of the rainbow when you least expected it. Now that is what Brighton is.

Brighton has a thriving comedy circuit too with many innovative and original performers and it with this fact that I'd like to draw your attention to small group of writers, actors and comedians who call themselves Radio West Pier (Jah Scooterman and Rico Mortis being at he forefront). Born from a growing concern of political correctness gone mad and a need to get back to the basics of laughing, their retro style comes to life, with use of original compositions of music, artwork, animation and audio and visual performances. Original characters such as the Right Hon.Tristram Shandy-Drinker bringing story telling back by verbally using Old English of the 17^th and 18^th Century.

Szalwinska may have been unaware that 'Exposures' by Andrew Field and his West Pier idea isn't as new or as original as he once thought. Unfortunately I was unable to see Mr. Fields show but it sounds very interesting especially in its use of audience participation. Radio West Pier metaphorically air an underwater interactive radio station situated underneath the charred remains of the West Pier and has always claimed an identity associated with the pier and the fire that destroyed it. So much so that during their current run at the Edinburgh Festival performances (currently performing at The Standing Order pub, near the assembly rooms at lunchtimes) they also managed to encompass the unfortunate events at Weston Super Mare and reference is made of fires at the Southend-on Sea Pier. If you look at their myspace webpage http://www.myspace.com/radiowestpier you will be able to find many instances of their work, reviews and so much more. The Radio West Pier group is the spirit of Brighton, like many other performers there bringing the fringe to the world in the most experimental, fresh and innovative way, bringing to life, a city which has so much to offer.

Matt Whistler Edinburgh fringe reviews

2008-10-07T05:57:00.001-07:00

EDINBURGH FRINGE REVIEWS

Radio West Pier reviewed by – 'East Sussex Counties'

Many of our readers may be wondering what on earth I am doing here reviewing 'the fringe'. Well, as you know, I write a monthly review column about up and coming talent or shows that are performed in and around the East Sussex region; well it just so happens that one of our own, who lives near Kemp Town, has contributed his part to the show that I saw a few days ago. For the festival, 'Radio West Pier' is performed upfront by the madcap Jah Scooterman, who you can currently see performing at the 'Standing Order' Public House, during the lunching hours of 12.15-13.15. Radio West Pier isn't the usual show of impressions and small comedic sketches but it is so much more. It has a certain history about it a sense that it's part of the furniture and it is very comfortable to watch. That isn't to say that the show is boring or bland and average, it's quite the opposite. It has an almost brings across an idea of random being as an organised state of mind. The best and most apt phrase to use would be 'intelligently daft'. Mr. Scooterman talks about his daily life under the water in Brighton! His stooge and sidekick Rico Mortis, clearly heard, although not seen during the show, leaves you feeling curious as to their creative partnership, (perhaps Mr. Mortis has the face for radio!); none more so than during the 'Commandments'. A lot of thought has gone into the machine, known as Radio West Pier and it is deserving of a large and appreciative audience. Clearly, this show is for the everyday 'people', Mr. Joe Bloggs and his friends. Radio West Pier felt that because of the ticketing fiasco of the unavailability to obtain one as well as their extortionate prices that they would put on a free show as part of the free fringe. So people are flooding in to watch this 5 star show for absolutely nothing and they are in for a real treat. All I can say is watch this space and I'm absolutely certain we will be seeing them going on to do bigger and bolder things and I'd be very surprised if they aren't signed up by a passing agent, if that hasn't happened already.,

Angela Coleman gave the show 5 stars (her first for a whole year)

Matt Whistler Edinburgh fringe reviews

2008-10-07T05:56:00.000-07:00

Matt Whistler 5 star show

EDINBURGH FREE FRINGE REVIEW
Now and Zen Gazette bi-bank holiday hourly

Radio West Pier.... I have come to the conclusion that the presenter of this show, a.k.a. Jah Scooterman is a complete contradiction in terms. At first I had him down as some sort of fascist who was in denial of the whole global warming thing, citing vegetarianism, namely Lentil Broth and the idea of going back hundreds of years ago not unlike the Brethren of Amish or the 'plain people' who reside in the Pennsylvania Dutch Country in North America. New age Hippies and those likewise seem to in for a heckling and having their lifestyles picked apart, chewed and spat out. He points out that those who advocate conserving energy, drink gallons of green tea and buy the latest eco-gadget are just following today's trend, whilst still driving their 4x4 to take little Timmy to prep school, enjoying and relying on Daddies allowance, obtained from dubious sources. However on reflection, he's right about the whole hypocrisy of some individuals, those that can afford to look like they are doing something for the environment and those of us who don't have a pot to piss in but still make sacrifices in order to their bit. Radio West Pier is a bit like that but extrapolate as to where we might be in the future. Could they be right in their hypothesis? Jah Scooterman banters on like Ian Paisley after someone had eaten his last rolo, coming across like some sanctimonious capitalist, yet applying his charm as some defence to the wounding of some old lady. But where exactly is his sidekick Rico Mortis?...Does he exist? We do hear him but as Jah Scooterman gone to far in his displacement of this chap? More master and servant than cohorts methinks! Yet such divine incantations whilst on a solar powered bicycle delight us with their misadventures underwater and on land…..Perhaps underwater radio is the new media, if global warming is happening, sea defences breaking down and sea levels rising then we may all be underwater in the future. So in same strange irony are they right? Media whores they are and they exploit that to the maximum, yet still managing to have a degree of respect for those of us who constructively criticise this ramshackle show as comedy. I've managed to paint a picture of complete chaos and it is - but it is within the subtlety of undercurrents of many subplots.

5 stars for Irony
Worth a View even if you don't get it!

Reviewed by:-

Amelia Scott

Matt Whistler world record holder

2008-10-07T05:55:00.001-07:00

Matt Whistler before moving underwater to Broadcast Radio West Pier as Jah Scooterman

SCOOTERMAN

Menu

ions

SCOOTERMAN
A new production project charting SCOOTERMAN Matt Whistler's journey East to West across the United States. The project will be designed for terrestrial and satellite television broadcast and will include an intercam link.
Updated: January 2002

SCOOTERMAN - the story so far...

Some would call him intrepid ...others might sa

y he is mad...but in the Spring of 2001, 'Scooterman' Matt Whistler will ride from the East coast to the West coast of America on a push scooter!

"I wanted to do a journey on something a bit different", says Matt of Brierfield, Lancashire. "I'm using an ergonomically sound, state of the art upgraded version of a children's push scooter with inflatable tyres."

In 1996 Matt journeyed all 935 miles from Land's End to John O'Groats to create a new world record for push scootering. In 1997 he used the same autoped to break the world 24-hour record, travelling 160 miles round the Aintree Race Track (where Stirling Moss won the British Grand Prix in 1957).

To test out the autoped on different terrain, Matt followed the first three stages of the Tour de France from Dublin to Cork in 1998. Matt travelled 60 miles a day and began his ultimate send off by first ascending the Wicklow mountains - the highest mountain in Southern Ireland.

On June 9th and 10th Scooterman broke his own World Record for 24-hour scooting at the Seed Hill Athletic Track, Nelson in Lancashire, England. Starting at 1 pm on Friday Matt scooted throughout the night until the following morning in adverse weather conditions. Finally and on the point of exhaustion, breaking his existing record by one mile, covering a distance of 161 miles within the 24-hour period. Guinness World Records are currently ratifying this achievement.

This event was filmed by a crew from BBC TV "Record Breakers", and is scheduled for transmission in the Autumn.

So far Matt has attracted the attention of national newspapers in the UK, including The Daily Mail, The Daily Star, The Daily Telegraph, Sun, The Sunday People and The Guardian. Local newspaper coverage includes: Liverpool Daily Post and Echo and the Nelson Leader. Featured articles include: Loaded Magazine.

Television coverage has included: "The Big Breakfast" Channel 4; BBC North West; Channel One; Carlton TV and Granada Television. The trip across America is being featured in a Discovery Channel magazine programme to be screened in the Autumn of 2000 and will be the subject of a documentary being produced by NGP Productions Ltd.

As a result of Matt's recent promotional visit to New York he can be seen on the Atom Films web site being interviewed with Lloyd Kaufman of Troma Films.

Matt has also made personal appearances at the Edinburgh Festival, the Highland Games in Scotland, at the 1999 Glastonbury Festival and has exhibited 'Scoot-Amelia' at the Static Gallery in Liverpool.

Scooterman sponsors include: Veriflex Push Scooters, John Moores University, USA Athletic Sportswear, Nelson & Colne College, Everton and Burnley Football Clubs, Lucozade, API Sponsorship Consultants, John Moores University, Bill Bryson - travel writer, Red Mother (Brighton) fashion More Bar / Restaurant (MATT WHISTLER AS COMEDIAN /STREET PERFORMER

Matt also has a unique act where he jumps over matchbox sized trucks dressed as Evel Knieval and has recently performed circle shows to crowds of over 200+ at the 2008 Edinburgh Fringe show. You can get a taste of this on episode three of Radio West Pier or http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL3JhZGlvd2VzdHBpZXI=

Matt's showreel is available on request a condensed version can be seen on http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL3JhZGlvd2VzdHBpZXI=

Radio West Pier reviews

2008-10-07T05:54:00.000-07:00

Review of Radio West Pier Episode 3 by Julie Perchill in the Sunday Thames 1/10/07

God knows I've laughed, I've cried, I've screamed and I've ground my teeth but I don't think I've ever shat out an emotion until now-after watching Radio West Pier Episode 3. I sat down to watch this stuff with a bacon falafel ( like my good honest communist dad used to make) and a glass of Chateau Tres Moi, with an open mind. But really, what a waste of my time, when I could have been sharing the milk of my genuine proletarian kindness through a News International publication that doesn't have to pander to Muslim sensibilities or to Trotskyists who see the world through the bottom of their comfy beer glass.

Anyway, back to the subject. The opening scene almost says it all, with a sad Northener taking any opportunity to show his (thankfully pixellated) knob off at the first opportunity. And him doing that Evel Knevel stunt; the toy trucks he jumped over just screamed out his juvenility. And that bulge in his crotch? Socks. From Primark no doubt. And his sidekick Rico Mortis-what an old hippy he looks like. Haven't we had enough of teachers like that filling a new generation of brats with woolly liberalism that will come back to stab him? And I tell you I've actually met Mr Moronic Mortis, otherwise known as Eric Mahoganeigh. He was sitting at the same table as me in a pub, the Lion and Lobster in Brighton, and with an instinct honed by countless column inches I sussed him out as someone not worth knowing, and with honest journalistic integrity told the rest of the table so. But does he, this ageing hippy, act at all maturely? No, he repeats what I said, when all I want is for it to be overlooked. I mean, why didn't he make a comment about my vaginal hygiene while he was at it?

Radio West Pier reviews

2008-10-07T05:53:00.000-07:00

CATHOLIC HERALD 28/01/08

Fishy Or What

By Cristina Odone

Radio West Pier is an interesting phenomenon, one that appears in cyberspace, but one that has a hidden religious message, whether its protagonists, Jah Scooterman and his sidekick, Rico Mortis, know it or not. The show is ostensibly broadcast from an underwater radio shack underneath the derelict West Pier in Brighton. It is a mixture of surreal comedy, dialogue, sketches, spoof interviews, music and mystifying visuals. Now, you are probably wondering why, out of all the digital ephemera out there, I have picked this show out as something of interest to a Catholic readership.

Let me start with the two main characters, Jah Scooterman and Rico Mortis. The latter is a dogsbody, a seemingly clueless media runner bullied and exploited by the wily Scooterman. His earthly suffering is all too apparent; you only have to listen to him having his nostril hair pulled out for Scooterman's amusement. He is made a scapegoat for the destruction of the West Pier in Episode Three in a fiery apocalypse but gains redemption by coming up with ideas to save the show, only to have Scooterman, like Judas, betray him at the end by stealing the copyright. A Christ-like figure, persecuted and betrayed, whose surname, Mortis, is reminiscent of an embalmed grace, in extremis.

Rico Mortis is paid in mackerel, a currency in fish, itself the symbol of St John, the fisher of men. Referring back to names, Jah Scooterman puts one in mind of a religion owing more to ganja than to God. However, even Rastafarians would be uneasy with the opening Scene in Episode Three when Scooterman is upside down naked, his loins covered with a starfish; a suggested image of an inverted crucifix. Furthermore, his guile comes to the fore when he corners an unwary traffic warden in Episode Two to ask how long he could park his bowling ball.

Should we read too much into this show? The fact that Rico Mortis is the shack's de facto carpenter, the trade of Christ himself? The send-up of Mystic Reg, the spiritual "guru" of DIY enthusiasts,in Episode One, seems to strike a blow for rational faith opposed to astrology. And we are invited to laugh at the twisted "artist" Jan Van Frotterspleen, who uses live insects to make murals. I leave it up to the readers to decide whether they're watching an online missal, perhaps a Eucharist of thoughts of faith already planted in alternate seedbeds of the soul's intellect.

Review of Radio West Pier by The Angling Times 1/10/07

" Radio West Pier has nothing of any conceivable value to offer anglers."

Radio West Pier news reviews

2008-10-07T05:52:00.002-07:00

ROLLING BONE MAGAZINE

RWP In my book stands for Really Weird People, but fuck it I'm being paid to write a review, so nose peg on and here goes. Radio West Pier is an Internet Comedy Show broadcasting from an underwater radio shack (yeah it gets worse) run by two inhabitants of Planet Cretin, Jah Scooterman and Rico Mortis. Its an addled mix of sketches, visuals and music (well that's how they describe it).

The lo-lights include a scene with Scooterman naked – don't worry about Global Warming his bits will launch poster campaigns saying "for the sake of our grand children we must act now". And there's a speakers corner that's got every nut case in England with bad teeth mind you, those loons make more sense than Congress.

Its not all doom and gloom. When the West Pier burns down its the most exciting thing that's happened to that Limey ridden soggy country. If Radio West Pier syndicates to the States I might jump ship and move in with the Russkies. And ramming that antennae on episode three! That sure squeezes your wing wang. Boy id like to get hold of that Swimousine and put whores and mini bars in it! But I'm getting too kind in my old age- back to reality. Those musicians they are like ecodippies who scream blue murder if someone's eating a burger in the next block.

And Bill Bailey and Zoe Ball, if your endorsing this flotsam of the airwaves, what does that say about you? Is Ed Wood the director? To be this inept you need talent.

P.J .O Rorke

Rolling Bone Magazine

Radio West Pier news reviews

2008-10-07T05:52:00.001-07:00

REVIEWS

"...a show that works mackerals..."

Cockle Handlers Weekly

"... better than a kick in the molluscs..."

The Driftwood Handbook for in and around Crewe 1908

"Shove it up your periscope and smoke it"

Submariners deep sea chronicle

"...perkily prospecting for an oiled skinned bonanza..."

Sowester Investor

"...under the shale a barmy buffet served on a tecktonic plate..."

Dredgers Digest

"It sent me over the edge and I died laughing half way down"

Beachy Head visitors book

"... bite sized bedlum that has you dining out on a limb"

The shark forum

"A visit to Radio West Pier is a breath of fresh air that put a tiger in your tank"

Scuba solidarity campaign

"...This is the dawning of the age of aquatic anarchy..."

The Epistle of the Pisces Apostles Daily

"Its a pervert's paradise lost in a sewer of sedition"

The Coral Majority Newsletter

Radio West Pier news bites

2008-10-07T05:51:00.002-07:00

THE ARGUS

Mr Whistler, one half of internet comedy
show duo Radio West Pier, said:
"I'm very nervous about the challenge.
I'm having to constantly wipe the sweat
from my brow. It's going to be quite a feat."

He will make his new record attempt by
the West Pier on Brighton seafront next
week with live commentary provided by
his sidekick Eric Mahoganeigh, who
plays Rico Mortis on the internet show.

The pair launched Radio West Pier in
September. The shows, based on the
fictional lives of two men living in the
wreckage underneath the famous
landmark, can be seen at
www.myspace.com/radiowestpier

Mr Whistler has already
contacted Guinness World Records to
see if they will verify his achievement.
Legendary daredevil Evel Knievel set
his world record for jumping full-sized
trucks in 1972

Radio West Pier news bites

2008-10-07T05:51:00.001-07:00

THE ARGUS


Is this pier lunacy?
Comdedians are to declare independence for Brighton's West 
Pier.Matt Whistler, who earlier this year announced his 
intention to smash all Evel Knievel's world records, wants 
the pier made its own sovereign state.Mr Whistler and his 
sidekick Eric Mahoganeigh, who run comedy show Radio West 
Pier on the MySpace website, are planning the stunt to launch 
the Brighton Whinge Festival - a version of London's 
Speakers' Corner. The duo will set up a platform at 
The Level in Brighton at 1pm on Saturday and invite 
people to stand on it and whinge about anything they want. 
The best whinge will be filmed and posted on their MySpace 
site. Tune in to Radio West Pier at myspace.com/radiowestpier...
..

Radio West Pier Matt Whistler

2008-10-07T05:50:00.000-07:00

A PUBLICITY GURU and EMBASSADOR OF MODESTY

"One man's surreal quest to become famous"

Matt Whistler is the world's first person :-

to travel from John O Groats to Land's End on a self propelled push scooter

to travel 161 miles in 24 hours on his dinky scooter

to smash all of Evel Knievals records by jumping over matchbox sized trucks on his push scooter

to turn a multi-talented...coke can opening.... siren impersonating...bi-lingual ...eccentric... technophobic parrot into a national celebrity overnight

to set up an alternative limousine company in a Volvo covered in glitter

to race against the Tour de France in Ireland on his push scooter

to start the worlds first group heckle at Mark Littles comedy night

to set up the worlds first naked speed dating event

to be the worlds first renegade kids chef for the Utensils

to set up the world's first underwater Radio Station

Matt Whistler is an actor and comedian and has appreared in various BBC productions and Feature films, showreels are available on request.

Matt's latest performance was at the Edinburgh Fringe festival as part of the Free Fringe and performed a 50 minute stage show about life under the sea broadcasting radio. This was well received as can be seen in the reviews on this

RADIO WEST PIER

2008-10-07T05:49:00.000-07:00

BBC FILM FLEETWOOD WESTON-SUPER-MARE & BRIGHTONS WEST PIER FIRE

LATEST BLOG
www.myspace.com/radiowestpier

..

A PERSONAL THANKYOU TO WESTON- SUPER -MARE AND FLEETWOOD PIER MANAGEMENT

Radio West Pier would like to take this opportunity to thank both Weston-Super-Mare and Fleetwood for their continuing support and amazing torch and fireworks display in the name of underwater radio. On the way to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival Jah Scooterman and Rico Mortis via an underwater route in their radio shack, landed in Weston -super -mare and after a quick meal cooked with a camping stove and frying pan couldnt believe their eyes on departure when the sky lit up and locals waved them off before plunging to their radio shack at the bottom of the Bristol Channel.

Jah Scooterman said

"We dont want to draw attention to ourselves but obviously our celebrity status and rising popularity and listnership is getting beyond our control, we provide quality radio through a stationalry excercise bike and 12 volt and thats what were about. I am Jah Scooterman I am a publicity guru and my presenting style is winning over our audience"

After returning from our Edinburgh Fringe Radio West Pier Road show Jah Scooterman and Rico Mortis stopped off at Fleetwood for a quick ciggi break on the Pier at Fleetwood and couldnt believe their eyes when they were yet again given an amazing send off with a huge torch and fireworks display. The local crowds were cheering really loudly, waving their arms and chanting as Jah Scooterman and Rico Mortis dived into the sea to swim back down to the Radio West Pier shack.

VIVA FLEETWOOD PIER !!!

VIVA WESTON -SUPER-MARE PIER !!!

Radio West Pier will be returning to sign postcards for all our fans

You need a rocking chair to read this one

2007-12-30T08:16:00.000-08:00

Blog 5

Well I am going to be a slacker and launch this onto the net pre proof read. Just be nice to get something up there. Will have my proof reader tear me apart later in the week.

Its been a long time my friend ! shit I am communicating to my blog like its a living entity. Their are big times of change right now, Rico Mortis (my comedy sidekick) real name Rick Wood writers name Eric Mahogeneigh has fallen in love and gone to East Anglia. I am at a loose end with the whole Radio West Pier project. I have not really written about Rick yet he's something of an eccentric that has many hidden depths. He is the only person I have ever come across that can get three seven letter words in one game of scrabble and forget where he has put his lighter in a nano second. Its been far too long to not write about Rico or Rico or Eric.
The cocktail of a genius hippy with enough get up and go to knock a cuppa together and myself a world record holder on a push scooter is the making of a paradoxical comedy show but is without question 1% persistence 99% perspiration and 100%frustration.
You can see Rick or Eric or Rico on episode one of Radio West Pier ... well not entirely true he is wearing a bell suit helmet , you can see him in episode two being a dogs body of a media runner in his yellow fisherman's oil skin. A great friend an amazing mind a complete pain in the arse, well not all the time, Rick thinks I am a control freak, so what do I know. We first met when I was seeking out digs at a Housing co-op called Two Piers which is a rich stew of socialism and bureaucracy and consequently well worthy of a TV docu soap, Rick spotted me at the other side of a crowded room at a Two Piers meeting in a small gazebo and it was mackerel at first sight and since then I have always looked back.
A message to Rick :
Dear Rick when you spell check this blog please don't write raving reviews about yourself, I appreciate that is a sneaky trick that I am more lightly to do, but my paranoia leads me to being over cautious. Also could you get back to these guys and tell them we don't have a pot to piss in until the sponsorship arrives.

Hi
I was referred to reach out to your firm about worldwide housing for your productions like we just did for MTV in Miami last week - they leased 20 apartments for a few days to 45 days..

You would save thousands of dollars in Hotel costs by providing luxury, furnished apartments for your Cast and Crew needs worldwide in all major metropolitan cities and nationwide in the US.

www.DrakeCorporateHousing.com

We also have a 4000 sq ft. luxury Loft (7 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms with
maid) in Soho, New York which has been used in many film and television shoots around the world - such as Red Bull, Holland..'s Next Super Model.

www.TheSohoLoft.com

The Soho Loft and it..'s architecture was written up in the NY Times Dec 2006.

Please forward this to your office and please email me by replying to this email when you receive this. You can reach me directly at 212.924.9694

Thank you
Ken Hunt

Drake Corporate Housing - production housing solutions and The Soho Loft

85 Fifth Avenue, 7th floor
NY, NY 10003
Tel: 212.924.9694

SWINGING ANOTHER TANGENT

I have moved in the direction of short clips on you tube now, to see if I can be a significant blip in amongst millions of other blips. Yes a bit sad I know, we all want our ten minutes of fame.... for me personally I love a challenge and to get some kind of ranking on you tube and effectively build the myspace site via links and tags appeal to my train-spotter side. Ok time to digress to more meat on the what have you been doing all summer bones. But before I do that, this late entry is owing to the fact that I have been completely focused on getting episode three out onto the myspace site. This was a huge anti -climax, as to date I have had only one spontaneous premier in the living room with my mother and brother travelling down from Lancashire to Hove and in-between my baby son crying, episode three of RWP was viewed by my family. As I hit the play button on my laptop resting on the arm of the settee I quickly ran over to the curtains as it was getting dark and pulled them together very slowly to give the effect of a grand opening (even though I was closing them) This was my grand premier, three people and a bottle of wine between us. Their was me! on episode three, doing a naked handstand and my mother watching and probably thinking where does he get his influences from. My brother concluded in a nice straight to the point Northern manner "you have obviously put allot of hard work into that and my mother with equal support " its certainly different". This was good enough for me it wont push the rating through the roof but what the hell you have to start somewhere.

Ok TC the summer what's the coo Mr McGoo ?

Between the last blog and this one so many rich snippets
of time have held my hand and taken me through pastures supreme. I don't know where to start so I suppose the best thing to do is waffle even more in some form of chronological order .That presents a problem in itself as I now need to enter the depths of my mind and dissect the filing system called memory.

I want to share some of the experiences of the last three weeks with you, for I have
been going mad performing the Utensils kid's shows at the following locations :

Shambala

This is a low key environmentally friendly and family orientated festival held in Northamptonshire Shambala is just the right size to guarantee a toilet that will not induce post loo stress disorder and a pristine showers that have you singing tip toe through the Tulips whilst scrubbing your grubby bits. The facilities are not and do not become too primitive. The nub of this festival biscuit is that you genuinley feel relaxed and its hard not to give or return a smile to random passers by.

The festival began in 1999, with 150 people in a field with a farmers trailer for a stage and a porter loo. Having hijacked a sound system from a students union, the organisers revelled for a weekend with good music, cream teees and general silliness. Such a good time was had that the next year a few more folk came, and each year since people have got involved or wanted to come!

G and I celebrated our arrival by stacking up all the contents from the car: the set for our show ,blankets, cushions, cooker, water butt, wallpaper paste table, Buddha, random stuff I didn't even know was in the car in the first place and tonnes of even more shit into an art instillation kind of way and proceeded to dive over the bits and bobs mound before erecting the tent, their might be a world record in their somewhere but unfortunately there is no evidence due to this being a nigh time ceremony.

The following day G was off catching up with mates from bygone fezis whilst I was hanging out at the Medieval Village, which basically comprised of three hatched buildings and bails of hay for a seating area.. Me old mucker Tyrone was running the kitchen at the Village. He is a fire horse. The Horse is the standard for grace, strength, rhythm and nobility. They have an amazing capacity for hard work. Often quite ostentatious, they enjoy being with large crowds and always seek out the grand and magnificent. They need people and have a weakness for those of the opposite sex. You can often find Horses at concerts, music festivals. Through all the moons of many a year, the Fire Horse is a dynamic creature, with a vigour that promises youth and freshness until the very end of life. Nelson Mandela and Neil Armstrong are firehorses.

Suffice to say Tyrone is a wild vampire like entertainer /performer and promoter or a Universal soldier as he likes to describe himself. We have performed in plays at various theatre venues around Brighton. Tyrone sometimes reminds me of the crazed boxing promoter Don King he has the same type of controlled insanity. On top of this knowing Tyrone meant I was always fed for brekki and well looked after Tyes a good egg and cooks a top one too !So a weekend of Tyrone and medieval frivolity, its full steam ahead and hold onto your hats for Rumble in the Shambala, I suddenly feel like my style of writing has gone really bland and I am writing scripts for wish you were here . Maybe if I throw a swear word in that will stop the diary feel. So yeah I was fucking around by that I mean trolloping around the Medieval hut looking for oldie whirly branches to balance on one finger. I have a weird ability to balance huge telegraph pole like sticks upright on one finger. Its a weird kind of connectedness that when mastered brings you into oneness and when the stick stops balanced on my finger and sways from left to right only in millimetres the feeling is very meditative. Its when the stick falls off your finger and spikes a sun bather that's when you know its time to run like the clappers.

There was only one drink on sale at the Medieval village and this was enough to set me up for the rest of the year. Many a Mead passed my lips over a two day period at Shambala, its a fermented alcoholic beverage made of honey, water, and yeast and is also colloquially known as "honey wine". Its a cheeky number, cheeky in the sense that its subtle undertones don't give you enough warning that you could be well on your way to going whoooop whooop shelom shelang whhhhoooosie dooozie whaaaapti dooooopti napti nopti. In plain English this means rat arsed. One night after listening to a spokesman for medieval life and how this was in many ways better than modern day society I wanted to pause a question to him and it took me half an hour to write it down I was just about to present it to him and he slipped away into the darkness like a ship in the night.

The question was something like

If modern day society, technological advances and industrialisation generate edge and edge produces creativity which may or may not seep and be accepted into the mainstream then is it unfair to make healthy comparisons between medieval life and the world as we know it today. Should we not be focusing on how to tweek or radically change what is? Rather than suggesting the medieval age should live on and was somehow better than present day.

I wasn't being real when I wrote the question, I was just trying to see how far it is humanly possibly to stretch the mind after a few cups of mead. I often conduct mind experiments on myself, on a physical level I like to see how long I can do a handstand for after a few snifters. Maybe that's why I don't ever get paralytic because I am always thinking about my own thought patterns. I don't want to give off the impression I am a big drinker by the way I have always aspired to a puritanical lifestyle
but just never quite got their. Had I of got an answer I wouldn't have taken any of it in. Sometimes I embrace the opportunity to be a bit of a smart arse this is one of my silly short comings, probably inherited from my Dad who sometimes has a bad habit of going into salesman mode and selling his philosophy with riddles and metaphors. My dad is a one off he always has a joke and a funny angle on life.

Back to Shambala. At the end of it all I got a good taste of all the usual festival skills/crafts, independent film, music with a mission, workshops, talks and debates, comedy, craft and the fresh organic market, fair trade coffee stalls, practical demonstrations, 'speakers corner' and a sauna. The sauna was a funny one, I sat their for ten minutes in the knack chatting to festival newcomers clothed in the sauna, then went for a shower. Two girls stepped away from the showers in hysterics because they were undergoing a first time naked experience that resulted in uncontrollable laughter and the presence of a man contributed to the laughter. I wanted to slip past them unnoticed because laughing from the opposite sex, nudity and a cold shrivelled up Percy don't make a very good social cocktail. Because I didn't have my specks on I couldn't see the hit button to kick-start the shower so I was in the strange situation where the two girls didn't want me to look at them because they were quickly experiencing a new nude situation and I didn't want them to zone in on me due to my cold shrivelling Percy and their inability to stop laughing. In the end they verbally directed me to the hit button and quickly scarpered and I was standing their objectively amused by the quick exchange of clashing energies.

For me, the two highlights at Shambala were the

Saturday night dress up in costume extravaganza, for which I donned a Caftan and silly red beret with a tomato like stalk sticking out of it. The Caftans durability was put to the test whilst I was roller skating in one of the large tents. And on Sunday night their was a huge hay fight outside the medieval village after a hurdy gurdy, bladder pipe and crum horn musical experience.

Although I did loose my specs in the hay after being hit on the back of the head with a full bail. And I needed to drive to Ireland the following day. It took 20 people to trawl through the hay on the ground to find my specs. Shambala would not have been the same had Tyrone not have been their.

There is of course our Utensils show and each show we do has its own highlights and pockets of magic. The Sunday afternoon performance was probably the one that stood out for me.

Geatanwas advancing to our audience with Bert the wicked whisk and I was running from side to side scared of his presence. I turned round and their was a kid using our set with a giant puppet monkey and conducting his own show. During this show half the set fell apart due to the Misuse of Gaffer Tape Act 2007 and we had our first adult heckler.

The older audience participants were raucous and a tad inebriated. At the end of the show one guy staggered up to G and said "you guys were hilarious I needed something to keep me awake ... brilliant absolutely brilliant" Usually its the kids with compliments but its nice we can trip the adults out as well.

In comparison to other festivals from the Utensils circuit Shambala had a strong feeling of their being a social conscious. It was nice to waltz around a festival completely independent from advertising and sponsorship! Shambala has grown entirely through word of mouth and new developments include a medieval sports day, a field of hot-tubs and an amazing new audio visual woodland space.

On way to Electric Picnic

The journey from Shambala to the Electric is something of a fatigued haze. Three days of Shambala little sleep and performing gives you little head space for driving. The logistics of the journey should have been better thought out but that's life. A ferry journey from Hollyhead to Dublin was awaiting and we had to board by 2 a.m. The initial exit from the Electric Picnic turned out to be a nightmare as we had a flat on the Volvo and didn't have the necessary jack and turning jobbie (Ive forgotton the name of the tool that takes the bolts off the wheel) the funny thing was Geatan would head out for a tool, a jack or scafolding to sort the job and by the time he got back I had already borrowed the same thing. It cant be a bad thing doubling up as we had to use both jacks in the end in a complicated operation to dig a hole in the ground to fit one of the jacks and line it up with the car. After three attempts to line the car up with the hole in the ground the tone of the conversation became heated and eventually after a peaceful reflection the problem was resolved. There is a part of me that likes these situations as it tests how well I can deal with set backs and delays, after all you cant have an adventure without struggle. On arrival to Holly head tiredness was really set in. With one hour to go before boarding the Ferry G and I fell asleep in the front of the car. An almighty bang on top of the car came from a guy waking all the drivers prior to boarding the car onto the Ferry. What a job !! how would you put that one in your job description.

1990 - 2007 A vehicle thudder to awaken zombied passengers prior to boarding Ferry

Reason for leaving : Cruelty to the dream world.

As the bow doors opened this was definatly not a convoy of men, equipment and supplies ready to roll on and roll off to invade the beaches it was more like Zombies 3 each driver had more baggage under their eyes than in the boot of their car. I slept through the whole ferry journey and can only remember coming into Ireland but before exiting the Ferry terminal I wound down my car window and was asked in a deep Southern Irish accent "do you have any dairy produce with you" I was half asleep and replied sorry no we have already had our breakfast. He was actually warning us about the foot and mouth and before I could say "shit im getting sprinkled" my car was slowly moving over a gigantic disinfecting spray machine whilst the window was still wound down. Getting out of Dublin to head for Stradbelly was easy we just made most of it up as there were barely any signposts. This added not detracted from the experience. Well twud be grand to elaborate on the rich history of Dublin but there so much of it. So all I can say in this blog is Ill have a pint of the black stuff please and slauncher.

Coming out of Dublin we stopped off to replenish in a small town somewhere in the back and beyond. We bumped into two guys who had been taking the same journey from Shambala and had boarded the same ferry with pretty much the same facial expressions of complete witheringawayness. The town was a funny little place anyone we asked for directions was East European and the local restaurant had two mannequins on display upstairs, the plastic couple were staring at each other with glazed eyes and the male mannequin to the left was holding a cigar. My thoughts turned to the person positioning and delivering the mannequin in the first place ... if it was me personally I would be keeled over laughing. I suppose advertising and marketing techniques in Ireland could be a step back from what you might see else where. Mind you though a friend did tell me that she once saw a baby coffin in the window of a funeral directors in Ireland. Maybe I am just picking out weirdness because I am in a different country I have seen plenty of weird advertising in Britain and funny spelling mistakes also. Before setting off to Shambala the Argus, a local Brighton newspaper, said: little picker finds £2000 in park (obviously the little should have read litter. This could be a point worth bringing up that travelling elsewhere adds to your perception of weirdness. Any situation is stored away in your memory and stands out as being more weird and memorable than when you were back at home... for worn in travellers this might not be the case. The bottom line is I thrive on anything off the wall and two mannequins dining out in a restaurant hits the spot for me. Whilst driving to the Electric Picnic my mind began to wander and think about the previous two occasions in which I had been in Ireland. The first was in 1995 when during an academic period of a three year mickey mouse degree called BA Consumer studies which would have me debating the powers of marketing one day and cooking burnt scones the next. Elaine Poulson Box my marketing lecturer received an application from me to do my three week employment placement in Ireland near Belfast.

This was on the grounds that I could drive. Unbeknown to Elaine ...yes I had past my test, no I could not drive with any degree of competence what so ever. After arriving at the warehouse north of Belfast I jumped in the food wholesalers company car and crashed into the barrier. From day one I was assigned to jump in the 18wheelers with the truckers and was taken around Northern Ireland to various supermarkets to analyse shelf behaviour with Fast Moving Consumer Goods and Slow Moving Consumer Goods. Conversations ranged from "you see that hotel over their, the Europa, its the most bombed hotel in Europe" (a tourist attraction ! how bizarre) to "you see that hospital over their it has the highest concentration of prosethetics and false knee caps in the world" to "lets go to Shanklin Road and Falls Road". This was all innocent banter and I was given a top welcome in Northern Ireland. And I don't want to create the wrong impression it wasn't all doom and gloom for the tourist boom I did pay a trip to Carrickfergus castle and Giants Causeway, the scenery was faaantastic!

The second visit to Ireland was in 1998,

I decided to travel from Dublin to Cork on my self- propelled push scooter and follow the first leg of the Tour De France. The 1998 Tour de France, also dubbed the Tour de Dopage (Tour of Doping), was marred by doping scandals throughout, starting with the arrest of Willy Voet, a soigneur in the French Festina team. 189 riders – 21 teams of nine cyclists each, an entourage of 5,000 people, 3,000 vehicles, three helicopters multiple TV crews and one solitary weary traveller on a self propelled push scooter. Before day two of my final ascent up the Wicklow mountains on the push scooter I got my head down in a bed and breakfast. The B and B was on route to Wicklow and the owner was a farmer. When he saw my push scooter set up with all my various back packs badly strung together on the front of the scooter he grabbed the scooter in his muddy wellies shouted in astonishment "be Jesus its a poor man's bike" and then proceeded to scoot around the grounds of the farm much to the delight of his admiring family. The push scoot up the Wicklow mountains would have been a struggle if it wasn't for the onlookers scattered to each side of me. Hundreds of Tour De France spectators cheering me on a making strange yodelling noises. When I finally reached the peak I turned round and was being approached by vehicles with 20 baguettes on top and massive Seiko watches. The question ran through my mind did the spectators think I was leading the sponsorship procession. And then like a flash of colours in a Konica advert the cyclists whizzed past. I hung around for a while and loads of people came up to me to discuss the push scooter and my motives for such an endeavour. In amongst all the chaos there were one or two cyclists/spectators that seemed genuinely offended at my presence and absence of pedals and a seat. They fell into the train spotter category of the cycling world. I suppose this is why I enjoy going against the grain it helps me understand how people think and its a positive way to do it. Lets face it I could learn about human psychology by accosting shoppers to sign up to a charity in City Centres but this would just create a bias perception and induce negativity. Take to the road shake off some cobwebs, this should be part of the national curriculum. This is the mildly schizophrenic bit where I play the Devils advocate to myself "Well what's right for one person isn't necessarily right for another" REPLY Yes it is get off your arse and see the chuffin world.
Never one to miss an opportunity for a plug you can read about my push scooter capers if you type in Matt parry NGP productions into Google.

After reflection the signposts for Stradbelly came into view its time to think in the now ...well it was time to think in the now at that time its now time to be in a different now to reflect on coming into the now if you catch my drift. Well actually the now is changing again I think its time to clock off from this blog, its been concocted at Sharon's house. She is a vivacious performer and recent mother. Whilst writing this blog I am cat sitting and looking after the house. She is in Turkey and the neighbour is pumping out pap music

Don't act like I never told you
Don't act like I never told you ooooooh

With that cheesy rap music layered over the top. The sort of music that reminds you of that stage you went through watching MTV and eating pot noodles. I havnt watched TV for 4 years now but I can guarantee if I flicked onto the music channel it would be a question of minutes before a rap singer with his sexy hoes fills the screen.

Don't act like I never told you
Don't act like I never told you

Oh shit the party goers are spilling out onto the street

Who are ya

Who are ya

Get of him he's all mine

I'm not a old git but this sudden adolescent activity homing in on my physique leaves me no choice but to put the latch on and hide in bed. I suppose its more reasurring to listen to belligerent adolescents on the Street than adults being belligerent adolescents. I was once chased by 20 football fans for conducting an experiment by digging up a worm in the
neighbouring rival football town of Blackburn and a worm in my home town of Burnley. I put them on a little stall outside Turf Moor F.C in Burnley and like the Pepsi challenge but without the fizz asked the fan from each Team to pick out their preferred worm. My results were conclusive the ground was not richer in either town which meant that psychological superiority was not a requirement of being a football fan. A friend received an email the other day that gangsters in South London are leaving their lights off on their car and the first car that flashes them will but chased and to initiate yourself into the gang a shot has to be fired into the car that flashed without any regard for who is in the vehicle. I don't know why I am suddenly moving onto this scary train of thought its weird how a thought pattern emerges from just one incident , I just want a good nights kip.

Nightie night

Electric Picnic 2007

The Electric Picnic was yet another festival that had completely its own identity. On arrival G and I were asked not to camp in the Body and Soul area, which is a magical and alchemical cauldron of creativity with all kinds of wicker work, sand sculptures and Celtic artwork set against a healing area, a hot tub temple, a bog cottage and foot spa salon with a permaculture garden area and the Irish seed savers in a veggie plot. Our new home for the next seven days was the Soul Kids area situated next to the Village Hall and adjacent to the Sasperella Gramophone bar. Our tents were tucked away at the back of a very compact kids area.

Setting up camp was funny as G was marking out our territory with himself and a bag whilst the guys rigging the parameter fence at the top end of the festival were closing in on us and I have never seen a metal barrier fence go up so fast, it was like watching ten gigantic field mice scuttle around to knock a fence together. So there he was G shouting over to me whilst I was sat in the car " get the gear get the gear quick before its too late" Within seconds G was talking to me through a fence, I was sat in the car and had to drive round to the front of our performance space to trudge the gear through the performers tent to our patch for the next week.. The experience had a sort of ...your mate is about to step onto the same tube train as you and the doors close and you loose him as the train sets off .... feel to it. Its humour of inconvenience Rick once told me a funny story about travelling up to the mountains about a teaching job in Italy he had not eaten all day and was offered coffee cakes which he cannot stand so on the way back Rick decided to buy a veritable feast from the guy with the trolley on the platform ... the food and drink was gathered by the Italian waiter and the Rick passed the money down through the train window onto the platform, the waiter took the money and then the train set off leaving Rick with an empty pocket and a shrivelling stomach. This is what I like about humour you can take the most frustrating situation and its funny unless of course you are suffering from sense of humour loss even then in retrospect it could be funny. Our tents were set up a stones throw away from the cinema. On the first night I awoke in the wee hours to the sound of Pink Floyd. The film the Dark Side of the Rainbow was being played. Its a perceived effect created by listening to the 1973 Pink Floyd album The Dark Side of The Moon whilst watching the 1973 film the Wizard of Oz. Apparently there are moments where the album and the film appear to correspond with each other.. 'The great gig in the sky' begins as the Tornado approaches Dorothy s farm ' Brain Damage' plays as the scarecrow sings "If I only had a brain". A deadly idea for a film, but when the sound resonates through every bone in your body in a one man tent its hard to decipher whether or not you are actually dreaming. And besides I have only got small ears. Time to clock off now will continue the blog tomorrow.

Well today, as in -present, back from Ireland tenths, I have been driving around the Streets of Brighton and Hove with a with a box of Kombucha culture on the passengers seat. A friend of mine who thrives on Kombucha drinks asked me to pick up the culture up at the Royal Mail depot. Every now and then I find myself side eyeing the box and sensing a living and breathing presence. An almost Gremlin like presence of quantum multiplication and within minutes the whole of Brighton will be swamped in Kombucha cultures planning to take over the Universe with its cause and effect malarkey. And yes it all started on the front seat of my 20 year old Volvo 940 with a hole in the exhaust a dangling ceiling light with exposed wires and a cracked mirror for good measure. The Chinese call Kombucha "Immortal Health Elixir" as they believe it balances the middle Qi (spleen and stomach) allowing the body to focus on healing. The drink dates back to Qin Dynasty, Kombucha looks like a large pancake though often called a mushroom. I've tried it before its good shit a million times better than Purdey's. One actor I met on location firmly believed it increases your level of Amino acids and he is convinced it has been bringing back early childhood memories. Ontop of this his syncranicity levels have shot up.

Anyway s back to the Electric Picnic. With only two days to go before the official start I am munching outside the double decker crew bus on a piece of toast and visualizing big arrows over the map of Ireland slowly moving towards the town of Stradbelly and the festival. 80,000 people are expected, with this thought in mind I still managed to scoff the toast at the same pace .... what's the point in stressing. At the end of a chilled day I found myself sat around the camp fire at the back of the kids tent hoping to spark up a conversation to get more friendly with the organisers and Sandra the main organiser of the kids tent. It soon transpired that our show The Utensils was replacing the long standing Lambert Puppet Theatre . Eugene Lambert and his wife Mai have ten kids and in the early days Eugene used to supplemented his day job as a refrigeration engineer with a Punch and Judy show at Private houses. This spawned a TV show and International acclaim.

The question remains how did our dinky two man outfit such a long established theatre company. Lets just say the quote was a tad on the steep side. It is part of the adventure though, when performing and travelling to help preserve an ancient noble profession seems to manifest more mini fables around what you are doing. Well after a prolonged conversation with the crew around the fire about my veggie burgers really tasting like the real thing and pheasants handing in a bicycle shed in Dublin it was time to retire. I would like to have met the Lambert s and the puppets they all sound interesting.

Oooops I gave something away, (would like to have met the puppets) well yes there is a part of me that is starting to believe that puppets are real. Ok so I have gone up a notch on the weirdness ladder, never mind I think we should let that one go. There is a part of G and I that almost doesn't sometimes feel that we are deserving enough to be in certain situations because the idea for the show as conceived and then it became an instant success. Its the performers securities that come out of you but I have to say a Renegade puppet show really gets the adults going and the kids and that's a sure fire sign of a winner because the adults have seen it all before.
Our first Utensils show at the Picnic was on Saturday and although only a small crowd it was very well received. G ended up having a sword fight with one of the kids. When I say a sword fight I mean it was a kid armed with a plastic sword and G retaliating with Bert the wicked whisk as a sword. One of Gs redeeming qualities as a puppeteer is that he get stuck in their and welcomes the anarchic surprise's that Birt stirs up. We did have a conversation in a car journey where G made a joke about being Renegade. I think this works well and should be encouraged for the show. I suppose the best analogy I can think of without wanting to sound too far up my own arse is the combination of physical theatre and interaction that equates to the painting on the wall in an art gallery that the public are encouraged to touch. Its energy tennis and the kids and the adults love all of that.
It finally clicked with me in Ireland after touring other festivals how kids when they make puppets from wooden spoons at the end of our show are very clear about which characters they want to make. Their were kid's making Ninja's Sparticus and all kinds of characters from watching TV. Its sometimes amusing to see who their favourites are.

The last night of the festival capped it all off for me. It was one of those how much is it humanly possible to fit into one hour experiences. I caught the last ten minutes of Polyaphonic Spree on the main stage and that completely blew me away If you get chance don't waist time picking dirt out of your nails in your tent run down their... fucking brilliant ... one big swooping knife spread of positivity on a fluffy slice of appreciative audience bread. After this a random posse gathered from the Gramophone Sarsaparilla bar and we all waltzed down to a dinky tucked away tent in the far reaches of the fezi which put on an amazing human operated and choreographed projected kaleidoscopic psychedelic lighting experience. Impossible to put into words but I will attempt... you know when you were a kid and played that paper game where you opened and shut your fingers to create different paper shapes and each shape almost liker a mouth opening and each section had a different number inside well it looked something like that but it was massive had a mirrored floor to duplicate the shapes and spun you out.

Next up was an Irish MC near the Chill out pods in the Body and Soul. He was something of a Novelty at first. As small stockie Irish MC holding a ciggy and wearing a marquee size Guinness t-shirt. He was standing there is a static unanimated like manner but really rockin it out on the mic with a DJ hidden away in the corner. With his deep Irish accent, power in his voice and comedic lyrics I would book this guy for my birthday anyday. Bit pissed I cant remember his name .... if this blog does extend beyond my number one and only fan Nadia and you know of the MC I am referring to could you please get in touch.

The end of this hour crescendo's with a Ferris wheel experience during which I grasped the concept of time travel. The wheel was run by the Fosset family was the oldest circus-owning family in Britain. At times, as many as five generations of Fossetts worked together in the show. In the 1930s, to help draw the crowds to the ring, Dennis Fossett's father, "Long Tom", bought two former circus elephants, Salt and Saucy, from Dudley Zoo.
I did spot a couple of the Fossett's sat having a drink earlier I have never seen so much History in one face (and I say that in the nicest possible way). The older lady had a pasty look with jet black hair and a stern expression with a real tough feeling coming through.
Back to the wheel and time travel.
When you are in the spinney carriage and you start to spin yourself faster and faster and faster and faster and the main big wheel with all the other spinney carriages starts moving around, the time it takes to get from the start with the attendant to the top overlooking a blurred spinning festival and back to the bottom again to hear the clink of the gate from the attendant helping you out, there is a feeling there is a feeling that the whole thing only took five seconds. If however you don't spin your carriage like a normal person and view the festival like a normal person and leave the carriage walking in a straight line without crashing into everything like a normal person the whole experience takes much longer. Now if Stephan Hawkins is reading this could he please get back to me A.S.A.P as I have money riding on this and as far as I am concerned this is time travel at the expense of bringing doughnuts back up for romantic couples to witness in full view. (didn't happen to me by the way lets be clear about that) . Nadia if you could contact Hawkins and tell him that I need two readers of this blog not just yourself come on now Nadia don't be greedy.

At the end of the evening I went back to my tent for a cat nap and in darkness amongst trucks with reversing sirens, the cinema sound and the Irish crew going into fifth gear with the Guinness supply next to my tent I could hear a rustling sound in Gs tent I knew G was out so decide to check it out.

Pulling back the opening to the bell tent a shadow of someone moving cautiously with a torch was in Gs tent. I started off with a hello to get the conversation rolling. A Dublin accent came back to me.
BLAGGER 1 = Me Matt Whistler BLAGGER 2 = The T Leaf G = Geatan (other half of Utensils show)

B2 Oh here you are Ive been looking for you everywhere
B1 Looking for me I said" As he came into the torch light a young Irish lad with a hat on said B2 Oh its not you I was looking for a friend
B1 What made you think it was this tent
B2 Oh erm yeah well I was looking for the crew tent
B1 The crew tent, you wont find the crew tent, behind that rucksack you were looking behind when I walked in
B2Jesus your right so you are
B2 Is that your Buddha on the silver food tray over their ?
Their was a big wooden carved out Buddha on a metal tray in candle light
B1No this is not my tent, can we talk outside the tent it would be nice to put a face to the voice

I decided to keep it all as amicable as possible just in case he was carrying a flick

We stepped outside
The manner of this guy was spectacular, he knew that I knew he was a T Leaf, but his smooth talking made me realise this was a peculiar meeting of minds.

B2 Can I give you a cigarette it sure is a nice night tonight isn't it
B1 Thanks, so you managed to get in without a band on your wrist that's impressive
B2 Yeah I need to meet up with someone do you mind if I go back in the tent and pray to the Buddha its a bit of a personal thing like
B1That's a really nice idea I don't mind at all

He set off to go back into the tent and just as he was about to dissappear into the darkness of tent I chirped up
B1 Their is just one thing though!

He turned round and looked me in the eye

B1 Its just that the guy who owns this tent has just been let out and he suffers from severe schizophrenia and I cannot be responsible for any violent reactions he might have if he sees you in his tent. The last person that upset him he swung round in the air for over three hours without so much as a kit kat inbetween and that was just the warm up, what followed should not be brought out into the public domain for legal reasons.
B2 Oh you mean he's got mental problems like
B1You learn quickly
B2 Maybe we should go into the festival
B1 I will second that

As we wondered into the festival through the kids tent by pure coincidence G was walking towards me.
G : Alright Matt.

He was starring at the lad and the lad was probably wondering if this was the guy who had just got out with mental problems. Let me add at this stage I am not knocking anyone with mental problems, the conversation was very of the moment.

B1 G this is Simon.
G Oh right.
The boy was looking a bit edgy but still speaking in a smooth way.
G : Thats a nice hat you have got on.
At which point I said it looks a bit like yours G
G: No mine has got a grease stain and some glitter at the top.
For me the penny still hadn't dropped, I said to him do you mind if I try your hat on ?. I love hats. Simon willingly passed me the hat and sure enough their was some speckles of glitter and a grease stain at the top. I said to the kid move it. He still stood their looking confused because up to that point I had been really friendly with him, he couldnt switch in his mind to seeing that I was telling him to fuck off. Beat it kid ( I went into American movie mode). He slowly started to walk off. I passed the Hat to G then said that kid was riffling through your stuff and this is your hat. G ran after him and calmly asked him to empty his pockets. The kid offered G 50 Euros not to dob him in. After checking the pockets he let the smooth talking scoundrel disappear into the chaos of the festival never to be seen again. What an eventful evening that turned out to be. The hat part of it was one of those weird fouth dimensional situations were the outcome was very much mapped out through fete. G didnt know it was his hat at first, I had know idea the hat was Gs and was just trying it on to be friendly and smooth and the kid had no idea whether either of us knew that the hat was Gs and whether or not G was the crazy guy in question.

Sunday was different I was sat in the cinema watching the Al Gore film an Inconvenient Truth and found myself being all cynical. Not so much about the content but about the fact that Al Gore is a marketing genius. He seems to have tapped into the minds of every hippy around the world with that kind of support you can work your own agenda.
The film premièred at the 2006 Sundance Film Festival and opened in New York and Los Angeles on May 24, 2006. Earning $49 million at the box office worldwide, An Inconvenient Truth is the fourth-highest-grossing documentary film to date in the United States, after Fahrenheit 9/11, March of the Penguins and Sicko. The film's distributor, Paramount Classics, is donating 5% of the box office receipts and Gore is donating all of his proceeds from the film to the Alliance for Climate Protection (of which Gore is both founder and chairman). The film was released on DVD by Paramount Home Entertainment on November 21, 2006. An Inconvenient Truth was well received by film critics, scientists, and politicians and won two Academy Awards. It is also being used in school science curricula around the world.Global warming sceptics have criticized the film, calling it "exaggerated and erroneous".

Well its been yet another festival going experience. I am feeling though that I have had a creative overdose and festival bubbles are probably not good for the mind. A few fields and trees is what's required. And the next dot on the map is Tara.
G wanted to support and help defend the Gabhra Valley which is next to the Hill of Tara. Ireland's ancient and ceremonial mystical capital. The whole Valley is part of a Sacred complex and is one of the most significant archaeological significant places in the world. Paid for and monitored by the National Roads Authority, in recent months burial grounds have been desecrated and a massive woodhenge is now under threat. What can the Utensils do ? well we can put a puppet show on Tara Hill of course.

Arriving at Tara was a classic comedy moment up on Hill was one pub and two drunk guys with their bicycles. We asked them for directions to the camp and the conversation started
"So what are you protesting fer"
Well we came to do a puppet show
"And what do you intend to do with these puppies"
"No sorry a puppet show"
"I see, well you will find the camp just down their and don't hurt the puppies will yer now"

I don't really know where to start and finish partly because I was so blown away by the experience that I didn't keep notes of the event. It was great to meet so many characters all interested in the same cause. Their was a harp player and old school activists mixed in with a loopy druid tinkering away on his old flute. The last night G and I put on our puppet show and we really felt like their was something meaningful happening during that 30 minutes of Utensil madness. I don't regard myself as a hardcore protester and tend to project my thinking about the world through mirth but the earthliness in one tent in one amazing experience will stick in my mind for the rest of my living days. Very powerful and cant be fully expressed in this blog.

So that's it the festival tour with the life of the kitchen drawer 2007.

There was one last performance though I cant clock off without mentioning the Brighton Kids Food festival. Talk about frenzied. We played to our biggest audience of kids. The first show was a duffer audience reaction was pap and the Brighton audience are spoilt with creativity so you really have to go the extra mile to make it happen. The second show we made lemonade with Gava syrup and had the usual exploding drink. The kids went ballistic and charged the wall paper paper paste table to make puppets at the end. The electricity in the air was unbelievable. Well theirs more to come on the demise of my involvement with the Utensils and Radio West Pier and the BBC. Theirs still a glimmer of reigniting an old project which I shelved years ago due to lack of sponsorship which could involve me travelling across America on my self propelled push scooter. The life an times of a chronically indecisive performer is well in progress. If I had to honest though Radio West Pier deserves to be a success and this I feel is the way forward... although given half the chance travelling across America on a push scooter would be great comedy inspiration. Oh Director and production company with purse strings to pull where art thou where art thou

BLOG 6

Well what's in the next instalment
The Identity show with Donny Osmond
A car caked in glitter
The long established fart club
A cheque for £2.50 and my presentation of episode three to the worlds biggest ad agency.
Pete the young budding Director that needs to ask for directions to find an A to Z
For now I am going to lessen the lightly hood of repetitive strain injury and retire to my pastoral duties, I knicked that last line off Tristram Shandy Drinker as can be seen on episode three.

2007-08-15T09:57:00.001-07:00

BLOG 4

Well well well my main man Carlo the wonderful editor has gone back to Italy. I am 95% finished on the episode three and just need an editor to finish off some cut and paste stuff and throw in the credits. The good thing about editor favour hopping on a project with no budget is that you get different styles coming into the post production. Carlo did an edit which involves me and a Dictaphone looking paranoid ... the final edit was very quick with my facial expressions and the colour of the screen is yellow. Carlo opted for the yellow because Detective films in Italy use a strange yellow colour. So we even have flavours of culture in Radio West Pier.

I have to hand it to Carlo his editing is top banana, the fact that he speaks pigeon English and didn't understand the storyline and yet could still (without a storyboard I hasten to add) piece together the narrative and visuals with grace, impressed me no end. Should a signed cheque come our way I will fly over to Italy without hesitation and handcuff Carlo to the next 10 episodes of Radio West Pier.

People like Carlo, you have to treat like gold dust as they are few and far between. A no budget production can result in a low priority editor. Radio West Pier has had unbelievable support and I personally see this as a compliment to the concept as people are interested enough in the first place to put the time in and move the idea along.

Recent developments
FRIENDLY ADVICE

Well I had a hot lead for the BBC Manchester who has now departed company from the BEEB. I was informed via an auto office reply. I could say this was gutting but it is important not to allow your mind the luxury of being disappointed. I will just simply move onto the next contact now and re approach the BBC with the Radio West Pier concept. The entertainments industry is bed of intermingled diamonds and empty promises. It is important for me not to take any of it too seriously and at the same time be as professional as possible. What I am trying to say is don't take anything as concrete until the contract has been signed but move past set backs because a set back is only a sign that you need to do something differently or even a sign that you are getting closer to your goal through pushing forward. Lets face it if you stop someone else will only take your place and carry on where you left off.

I feel like this blog is turning into a tutorial for aspiring entertainment industry type people so I will now move back up the page and give this section a title and call it errrrm
'Shaping your thinking and not letting your mind be affected by the impact of the odd mental juggling ball hitting the deck through disappointment once in a while'.

Actually that's too long a title I will just call it friendly advice. Hold on a minute I will just scroll up to insert the title.....................................................................................................................................

Ok I will extend this blog but for now I have been assigned as the press guy for Brighton Wok a martial arts feature film building up to a big premier. I need to clock off for a meeting. So far my only dedicated reader for my blogs is my good friend Nadia who oozes loveliness.
So Nadia and the rest of the waiting world
Peace
Matt be back soon Whistler
x

Sniffing out a new editor can be difficult ..... TO BE CONTINUED

2007-08-15T09:45:00.000-07:00

Well here's an example of how a low budget comedy episode can still come up smelling of roses. With only 8 hours to go before filming our latest scene which is the middle part of Episode three of Radio West Pier there were a few essential details to consider. Where do I get a cameraman? where do I get a green screen? and will the weather hold out. All three factors seemed equally as difficult to deal with at the time.

The scene was of me inside a 1930s Chevrolet. This is the interior shot for our swimousine which you can see the animation for in episode one and two. Its a kind of underwater spaceship and is designed to carry our guests to Radio West Pier H.Q.

I don't want to go into more detail on episode three as it has not as yet been released on myspace and RWP is planning a national press launch in September 2007.

So back to the logistics. Green screen ... where, when, how.
Well back at Eric Mahogeneighs house (the co-writer of our audio pod casts except for Rico's musical talents which I wrote myself), there was a huge flimsy piece of board, with a vile, putrid and brightly coloured painting of a dwarf on a toad stool in a countryside fantasy land setting. Every time I pulled painting out from behind the settee it stirred something negative up inside the tenants of flat 4 at TWO PIERS housing co-op in Brighton. This flat has been like a second home for me over the years, as it has been like a portal for me to connect with like minded individuals and at times usually on a full moon I have felt very sane their, given the activity that has taken place. Its the notorious party flat of a huge housing co-op and tenants their don't hold back. Although don't let me paint the wrong picture this is a space which has been stigmatised by controversial tenants and general madness. The calm has settled in now after a prolonged storm and relationships are blossoming and the vibe is one of Sunday papers scrabble and civil chit chat.

In my early stages of visiting FLAT 4 the mad party scene was never a scene I wholly embraced and I often became cynical about the mechanics of housing co-ops and discussions around colour coded buckets and shower mats. I suppose I am speaking from bitter experience as I gave TWO PIERS a go once in a different building on the other side of Brighton and I didn't suit my personality two many contradictions and seven tenants living under the same space all equally as keen to lead separate lives. The pinnacle came for me when the living room door was repeatedly left unlocked meaning that anyone could gain access to the whole building. One day I left a message to the rest of the house that the door had been left unlocked and p.s Has anyone seen the television ? (the TV had been hidden by myself in the Office upstairs). My mission was to make the other tenants visualize theft and how we should be more aware blarde blar. The crux of this was that I was just being smart arse but the irony was that it worked the door was always locked from that day on . Anyways dirty laundry you don't want to hear more of this (boring your boring) .... I am saying this to myself to steer me in another direction.

This aside Erics real name Rick Wood lives at Flat Four and he appreciates my sense of humour which instantly qualifies him as a friend. Where Rick and Flat 4 are concerned I can take things a bit too far at times. I did once ask Rick if I could store my Radio in his living room of course forgetting to mention that the Radio was actually a 1930s wireless that needs three men to carry. I tatted this in Hove when some clearance guys were about to chuck it onto the back of their van and I slammed on my brakes in my VW transporter wound down the window and shouted "hold it ! hold it right there, you are not taking that radio anywhere, I can make very good use of it in my comedy show"

The wireless had an ash tray on top of it steeped with stubbed cigarettes and in the middle of it was one cigarette stubbed but standing upright to attention. I figured this was the last cigarette of the tenant before popping his or her clogs. The feeling I got from the ciggies was that it was probably an old lady. The back of the wireless displayed all the inner workings the gold speaker Cassy and wires. The cob web was the same colour of the wireless ... brown. You can see the wireless on episode one of Radio West Pier....

I would like to think that if the old lady was looking down they would think wow my wireless ended up on set at a TV Brighton production of Radio West Pier.

BACK TO THE PAINTING :
The offending painting was removed from behind the settee and dragged halfway across Brighton to my friends flat in Hove and I then hoofed it to the local painter decorator shop to buy a tin of paint for green screen. Low and behold their was one tin in the bargain basket that matched green screen requirements perfectly. For £6 I now have ample green screen paint and the dwarf on the toadstool has a new home. Well its actually stored in the garage of the guy who owns the Chev as he did say that film making could be his next move as there was no way I was going to drag this noisy beast of a wobble board back along George Street again with its scraping noise that travels from one end of the Street to another.

I must admit though dragging it home first along the seafront from Ricks was hilarious. I was gripping the wood behind me and a gust of wind would lift the whole thing in the air. The wind on the Brighton Hove seafront can be very powerful at times. I remember when I used to run along the seafront in the morning and if the wind was behind you it was like your feet barely touched the ground and I would say hello to a runner coming towards me at slugs pace with g-force expressions and strewn hair and enough time to have tea and scones before putting his left foot in front of his right.
Back to the green screen:
It was like I had a big rectangle cape, it would have done Bat Fink proud. Getting from one street block to the next was a nightmare though the wind would force me to one side. Passers by were mesmerized by my sense of striving forward... the sound of the end of the board scraping along the floor as I dragged it was deafening. Walking through pedestrianised George Street with the board later was a film in itself the sound of the green screen been dragged with Carlo my Italian editor and young aspiring Brighton film maker Pete both carrying mad props stopped the cafe and restaurant punters in their tracks. And all the time I was feeling anarchic and thinking I'm making a film I'm making a fucking comedy show and nothing is going to stop me and the fact that your all looking at me with a bemused not quite sure what context to put this situation in look just strengthens my comedy blood into Vimto shaken and not stirred with cornflour.

To be continued ....

2007-08-15T09:30:00.000-07:00

Utensils and Radio West Pier remaining scene

Chuffin Nora he's back well whatever next I hear you cry.

Well I think now is a good time to post my second chatty blog as there is new stuff, stuff of a surreal nature. Over the weekend Geatan and I travelled to Oxforshire to perform our Monshamto taste laboratory control centre puppet and crazy chef two man show. Our gig was at Britain's first kids food festival. The fezi was to promote food awareness we were lucky to get there to be honest as the battery was dead in the car that morning in Brighton, but by shear luck ... or maybe not, some might argue magic, the local furniture shop chappy was hoofing it past with his dinky dog in toe (one of those deceiving types that is actually a voracious canine specimin that strategically uses its incisors to dangle from your knee caps when you bend down to stroke it due to being hypnotised by a deceiving puppy dog persona.) The furniture shop chappy kindly offered to put the jump leads on the battery and we got the show on the road.

On arrival we set up the new bell tent (ooooh luxury camping enough room to swing a welly) and then proceeded to prepare for our first show. As this was the first event of its kind there was only one other tent in the camping field it was like the Glastonbury mirage ..no mud and enough space to have a mini Olympics with ginger bread men.

Over a period of two days we met two jelly girls who walk with a stern posture whilst balancing jelly on their heads a guy who drives a moped with a cabaret bar towed to the bike with a comedy guy being pulled along in the bar enclosure at high speed and a whole host of other walkabout theatre acts. The real surreal element was topped with army patrol, day and night, this was down to an army base being located on the other side of the runway.

On the second day Geatan and I was having a cuppa and who should turn up but Antonio Carluccio and the organiser was happy for us to have a photograph standing next to Antonio holding Mr Prong our king size fork utensil and Bubba our king size spoon. I think Millie the ladle maybe have been in on the photo also. Highlights are always welcome in life and this was one of them. Antonio has just set up a new restaurant in Brighton hmmm maybe there is scope for a adult disco performance from our Utensils dressed in funky gear.

Our performances went down well to the kids and one kid came up to me after a show whilst I was carrying part of the set back to the performers tent and said
"excuse me .... that was the best show I have ever seen". Then he turned his back and went to meet his dad. Its moments like this touch you and make it all worth your while.

The bottom line is our live show doesn't have to be an Oscar winning performance with accolades coming out of our ears ... just so long as the kids enjoyed it that's what counts. Although I have to say they do like my handstand at the start, its funny every show we do the handstand seems to get longer maybe this is a metaphor for the show getting stronger. Geatans puppetry is engaging and hilarious hes a top chap to be working with.

Well I seem to be focusing this blog on my latest Utensils involvement and not Radio West Pier. This is partly due to the fact that doing this show is taking me away thinking about RWP all the time so I may as well let you guys know more about me and the fact that I am touring with this show throughout 2007 ...... maybe now is a good time to plug the Utensils we do private parties for kids. We had a show the other week in Husterpierpoint. The Booker's also live in Singapore and originally spotted the show on the internet in Singapore and booked it over there via the internet. As this was our first private party a veil of excitement came over us. The excitement of knowing that the internet can make interesting things happen. Myspace is good for that also if you go to the home page I have collaborated with the Tristram Shandy Drinker and a sitar player called Eva and her partner who plays a minimalistic clown called naughty.

Well its 12.02 a.m and I have been preparing and painting a window frame in the flat directly above me and every time I close my eyes I can see my hand sanding down the wood. This is what I do to keep the pennies rolling in and to stop the letting agents from charging a £15 admin fee for late rent.

There is more but for now I am kerrknackered

Whats to come in the next blog

(oooh I say you can enlarge words and make them red. How modern !!!)
Why our green screen had to be dragged along the seafront in Brighton
The missing scenes of Radio West Pier episode three being filmed today.
General prose and nonsensical zen possibly.

OVER

P.S If you spot any bad grammar please feel free to point it out .. my proof reader is sat on the couch reading Conversations with God ... not as dubious as it might sound by the way.

2007-08-15T09:22:00.000-07:00

Well, this is the first in a long line of blogs discussing the birth of Radio West Pier. The inspirations, the methodology of blagging on a wing and a prayer to keep your dreams alive and moving forward.

In short, I (Matt Whistler), the creator of Radio West Pier will be spilling out my thoughts to help me deal with my obsessive creative juices that force me to continually blurt out new ideas to anyone within my vicinity.

Ok so I'm hamming it up. I mean really my girlfriend... I cant keep my gob shut... ideas just bubble up at a rate of knots and my whole being needs to deal with the idea. In most cases I just blurt it out wait for instant feedback as a basis for something that meets with approval or outright
"no I said no definitely not it wont work".

To put it frankly I am a pain in the arse and need to slow down when it comes to thinking of ideas feverishly.
Most inventions I thought of years ago and when there is a gust of wind and the Universal Zeitgeist Signpost swings round and bonks me on the head I put pen to paper and extract the idea from my brain to something tangible.

This tangible item may include any corner of any news paper the yellow pages, a rizla (I don't smoke myself but virtually all my friends do) or gaps between previous scribbles gone by. I have even been known to send text messages to a friend near by with my thoughts because there wasn't a pen available at the time. The last text read Grandstand and old lady next door. Thinking constantly about new ideas does have obvious draw backs. There is a part of me that feels stimulated and immersed in the rich tapestry of life in the context of what feels like visionary thinking and their is another part that wants to pack my brain in a box of feathers and let it rest on top of a mountain for a couple of weeks just to chill out and live in the moment.

Living in the moment now there's a thing. I personally live in the moment by visualizing and grasping and shaping a new idea 99.9 % of the time. Even though my personality is outgoing their is a withdrawn artist side to my being. In other words I am something of a Walter Mitty constantly slipping away from my immediate reality into something dream like (and that's without drugs). I have studied aspects of Buddhism though and understand its principals, some of my more interesting days have been when I have left the front door and mentally told myself "Right I am going to have no expectations today" and really by saying that I am saying : no goals. This acknowledgement in my mind has opened up doors for positivity and good things ahead.

Just in case you think I am rambling, I am, and enjoying every minute ... its my first blog man!!!.... a new creative endeavour yippedi dooo daaah knicky knacki noo and a rinky dinky doo to you too ooo booopi dooo skilladiddlie skadali ... Ok Ive gone too far now STICK A SOCK IN IT Or should I say pull a mental curtian across my brain go backstage and reassess what the next flow of thinking is going to be. Yes, here it is, its arrived, MY WRITING (on paper that is).

My writing tends to be in any direction except backwards and accompanies arrows linking thoughts and ideas. (sssss) the sssss that I have now placed in brackets was due to the s key flying out of my keyboard and happened when I slotted it back in place... it's still quite wonky but my guarantee has run out on the laptop so I will have to type think and deal with the sssss oh shit the key came off again. I think I wwwww oh fuck the wwww has come off nowww. My keyboard is falling apart.

3 HOURS LATER

I am now continuing the blog on my friend's PC. The friend is Geatan. He runs a healthy eating for kids Internet show and can be seen on www.theutensils.co.uk
Geatan and I have formulated a travelling show which involves Monshamto castle and an evil drink. Their is a great Bondian moment and some amazing puppetry with large king size Utensils. I have just been to Glastonbury. The set was last minute and the script
under rehearsed. However, the spirit and shared vision behind entertaining kids was high energy. We didn't even let our props/set girl who trashed half the set and ripped eyes off the puppets a day before the debut performance put us off. She was escorted off the site and I have to hand it to Welfare they did a great job. I don't want to reveal her name but there was a lesson learned on my part. You cant always help people with mental health issues and in this situation my heart was ruling my head.

I am writing this blog with pure channeling energy and when I say that I mean sometimes I don't really feel I am thinking and that the thinking is being channeled into me via a higher force. Ok so now at this stage in the blog you are thinking 'this guy is starting to sound like a fruit bat'... Well you might be right I sometimes feel like a fruit bat, especially after years of family and friends telling me " you're mad" you're crazy"
It's all in good humour but I guess if I had to sum myself up I would say I am eccentric and very aware of my eccentricities and boundaries that can be creatively crossed from time to time. It could be argued that I am a dangerous person to make a suggestion to because I will respond " you could be onto something there."

I have to say by the way that I am really enjoying writing this blog because I feel like I'm taking a walk around my brain. Its almost like if there was ever such a thing lucid typing as opposed to lucid dreaming. Anyways, I digress. This is one of the lines from a chap who I came across on myspace site... the Tristram Shandy Drinker whose real identity I cannot reveal.
'I digress' was used by him on an audio review he kindly put together for Radio West Pier. You can see the link on the top right hand side of the myspace page ... he's a very funny guy.
I initially asked if he would kindly write a review and he came back with an audio master piece ..... what a nice guy. This was the first time that I realised the power of myspace and that through all the spam and odd random wannabe friends desperate to get noticed, there are genuine opportunities for collaborations.
I digress

"What the hell is he waffling on about?"

Well allow me to explain.

An idea comes into my head I write it down and act on it within 24 hours then keep the wheels in motion until the end result is there. I suppose the job description in the nine-to-five world would be an events coordinator. I tend to work on top down theory which is a positive thinking theory that originally came from Harvard university which means you think of an idea and then in your organisation you go straight to the conclusion.

Example :

I am the person responsible for setting up the worlds first naked speed dating event.
Without a venue, without a naked person and without sponsorship etc I ran the press and told them that an event was going to happen with x amount of people with a theme.

The theme was 'The Garden of Eden' and the night called 'Would you Adam and Eve it'.
The press were informed that there would be Adam and Eve present' there would be angels in costumes, Puck from Midsummer Night's Dream' would be there and we would even have an Inspector Clouseau keeping tabs on everyone to avoid lewd behaviour.

After three court appearances, 2 venues, International publicity and a bidding war with the press, the event finally went ahead. There was one minor problem... On the night, my partner in crime, Mike, who was on a mission to promote the World's first water powered engine through his band, formed in 48 hours, called The Galactic Rainbow Orchestra. Mike and I didn't have the cash to pay for the venue hire and after Mike inviting punters in another part of the venue into our gig, messing the sound guy about and leaving me to deal with the media arrivals (which included Channel Four documentary makers and silicone implanted dolly birds from News of the World pulling pints behind the bar topless), I decided the stress was too much and I donned a Jimmy Saville wig, slipped past the manager who was jumping up and down in a fit of rage, shouting at the band
"You pagan whores"

Unfortunately, the instruments were held to ransom by the manager of the Sussex Arts Club until we could claim them back.
For me personally this event made history, certainly in the speed dating world. Later that year, there was naked speed dating in Glastonbury and the media called it The Year Britain Went Naked. There was a naked DJ in Leeds and the World's biggest naked roller coaster ride. A whole host a nudie stuff. Now I am not trying to say I am responsible for half the population throwing their trollies off, but what I am saying is that my brain works in such a way that I conceive an idea and then find out soon after that the idea was at the start of a big wave... a trend... a crest that tied into my idea or should I say the idea that was fed into me by an Alien life force perhaps... 'who knows?'

I don't want to go all whacko on you know but some of the stories I could tell you about my life's experiences. I often sit back and wonder why fate is following me with density. Maybe it was to do with when I was born, star signs and time of birth. Well I've swung enough tangents for one night and haven't as yet discussed Radio West Pier or my World records in years gone by and how I came by the name Matt Whistler.
More importantly I haven't as yet introduced you to my good friend Rick (writer's name Eric Mahogeniegh) and as he will be reading this blog sometime soon, I had better let you know now he will feature heavily in the next blog. Eric is the other half of Radio West Pier as can be seen on our video where we are blatting around the Streets of Brighton in Fisherman's oilskins.

So for now its over and out.